I was out lamping one night when the urge took hold, refusal was not an option.  It was a pitch dark night so dropped caks and unloaded.  Like shaggy I was devoid of anything to complete the paperwork.  In the dark I grabbed a handfull of wet grass but as I was under a tree that was full of old twigs and things, didn't really fancy that too much.  Searching my pockets the best I found was an empty .22 ammo box.  For those that don't know these unfold to a bit of card about the size of your palm, very shiny on one side and very rough on the other.  How tough is that eh!  If it had been a bit later, after I had acounted for 1 or 2 bunnies I could have made like a bear and used one of them!  I now never venture into the field without a packet of wetwipes in my pocket....stay away from the lemon fresh ones, but that as they say is another story.
							
						
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out running with a couple of mates from football about 2 years ago i felt a little rumble and thought i'd release a loud and proud...
...it was loud, but i weren't too 'kin' proud, 2 miles from the club house and the wanchors (both little scrawny wingers) up the pace beyond my capabilities and i knew it was about to get worse....they lock me out and i can hear 'em laughing inside....
....i had last laugh though 'coz little danny never ever used to lock his car, so i went and sat in the drivers seat and wiped my legs off on a shirt he had in the back....
didn't tell them either, but he realised pretty quickly once he got in the 'scort to go home!!!!i swear, it was like that when i got here...
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3 days after reading the first post on here. I took my daughter Jess ( Thedarklord ) to Black pool to give her a brake from studying. I was not feeling my best but I thought I would be a good dad. We had a good day but I needed the loo, so I said we will have some fish and chips and I have got to use the loo. The loo was a mess so we left it and went some where else to eat but still no loo. By this time I was feeling much better and was going home.
On the way home I thought we would go have a play on Winter Hill on a very rocky track. Half way up I blow my tyre on the rocks, 2 inch cut in the sidewall just my luck. So get everything out and under the truck to jack it up, Jess starts to take the wheel off. |The wheel nuts was on to tight so I said don’t worry I will do it. As I got down to take the first nut off I felt the need for the loo. I thought not now, as I pulls on the tyre iron I farted but held back as u do, but was very worried by this point. The nut would not move so I tried again, one big pull will do it I thought and it did the nut moved and so did something else. I was up and over the fence and in to the bushes with pants down. With Jess shouting whats up dad r u alright, and u guessed it no paper so it was handfuls of grass it seemed like I was there for an hour lol.
So them hikers best be careful where they r walking up on Winter Hill.
I can laugh about it now but it was not funny then.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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you see its not just me lol lol lolOriginally posted by ohsupremebeing3 days after reading the first post on here. I took my daughter Jess ( Thedarklord ) to Black pool to give her a brake from studying. I was not feeling my best but I thought I would be a good dad. We had a good day but I needed the loo, so I said we will have some fish and chips and I have got to use the loo. The loo was a mess so we left it and went some where else to eat but still no loo. By this time I was feeling much better and was going home.
On the way home I thought we would go have a play on Winter Hill on a very rocky track. Half way up I blow my tyre on the rocks, 2 inch cut in the sidewall just my luck. So get everything out and under the truck to jack it up, Jess starts to take the wheel off. |The wheel nuts was on to tight so I said don’t worry I will do it. As I got down to take the first nut off I felt the need for the loo. I thought not now, as I pulls on the tyre iron I farted but held back as u do, but was very worried by this point. The nut would not move so I tried again, one big pull will do it I thought and it did the nut moved and so did something else. I was up and over the fence and in to the bushes with pants down. With Jess shouting whats up dad r u alright, and u guessed it no paper so it was handfuls of grass it seemed like I was there for an hour lol.
So them hikers best be careful where they r walking up on Winter Hill.
I can laugh about it now but it was not funny then.at the end of the day................ it gets dark
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  but when you think about it it is better than $$$$ing yourself no?
							
						
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