yobit eobot.com

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Some are a bit rude, sorry

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Some are a bit rude, sorry

    What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?



    About 2.3 pounds including the urn.




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    What had 3 legs and lived on a farm?

    The McCartneys

    But really we shouldn't make fun of macca. After all will he ever find another woman to fill her shoe?




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------








    Was so depressed last night that I rang the Samaritans.
    Got through to a call centre in Pakistan .
    Told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane......




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...

    "Oi, what's your disability?"

    I said "Tourettes! Now f#ck off you c#nt!"




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------





    A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.


    "Excuse me do I know you?" he asks. "Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids" she says.

    The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says "F#cking hell are you the bird I sh#gged on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my ar#e?"

    "No" she replies "I'm your son's English teacher!"




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    I said to the wife, "I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' "




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    A bride on her wedding night says to her husband "I must confess darling, I was a hooker!".

    He says "That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it".

    She replies "Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan !".




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------





    Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees sister rose washing the kitchen floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's sh#gging her the Rev Mother comes in.


    "SISTER ROSE!!!" she roars "Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!"




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    A man says to his wife "tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time".


    His wife replies "You've got a bigger dick than your brother"
    Still Searching,
    Dick Whittington

  • #2
    I said to the wife, "I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' "
    funny stuff

    Comment

    Working...
    X