The Suggestion Box to improve things for GB

[That Ruddy Squirrel]

This thread is for suggestions (of a humourous nature) to improve our lot

I will start off with half a dozen

1) We swap government for our military leaders which will hopefully bring common sense to decisions, and stop waiting for GWB's okay before we wipe our bums.
2) Camoflauge colours for political parties shall be based on their party's colours - oh dear, what a pity, red camo will lead to labour being used for target practice (before anyone says the greens can hide I will remind them that in deserts and snow fields green sticks out like a sore thumb
3) In order to protect our brave squaddies roadside bomb & mine clearing will be done by the 1st Asbo & Chav Battalion lead by that minesweeper expert David Blunkett ably assisted by John Prescott.
4) Afghanistan needs troops who are used to crossing uneven terrain so we will send the 1st Bobble Hatted Rambler Battalion to deal with that problem, they will be backed up by the 1st Illegal & Dodgy Immigrant Troop.
5) Supplies to our loyal troops (not the ones previously listed) will either be recalled to Blighty or properly supplied for the taks they face - the new troops will have to make do with what they got - nothing new there
6) Residents of Britain are British, not English, Scottish, Welsh, Northern Irish or Misplaced Muslims - if that goes against the grain then David Blunkett always needs volunteers.


So now guys it's up to you to add to new rules to make Britain Great again

[stormforce]

This thread is for suggestions (of a humourous nature) to improve our lot

I will start off with half a dozen

1) We swap government for our military leaders which will hopefully bring common sense to decisions, and stop waiting for GWB's okay before we wipe our bums.
2) Camoflauge colours for political parties shall be based on their party's colours - oh dear, what a pity, red camo will lead to labour being used for target practice (before anyone says the greens can hide I will remind them that in deserts and snow fields green sticks out like a sore thumb
3) In order to protect our brave squaddies roadside bomb & mine clearing will be done by the 1st Asbo & Chav Battalion lead by that minesweeper expert David Blunkett ably assisted by John Prescott.
4) Afghanistan needs troops who are used to crossing uneven terrain so we will send the 1st Bobble Hatted Rambler Battalion to deal with that problem, they will be backed up by the 1st Illegal & Dodgy Immigrant Troop.
5) Supplies to our loyal troops (not the ones previously listed) will either be recalled to Blighty or properly supplied for the taks they face - the new troops will have to make do with what they got - nothing new there
6) Residents of Britain are British, not English, Scottish, Welsh, Northern Irish or Misplaced Muslims - if that goes against the grain then David Blunkett always needs volunteers.


So now guys it's up to you to add to new rules to make Britain Great again

[Bogus]

7) Quote "The people of Cornwall can call themselves Cornish and not English/British on all forms and electoral roles" UNQUOTE

That directly contradicts No 6 and must therefore be a non-starter, unless Ive misunderstood and you want everyone to call themselves "Cornish" as a christian name or Surname, I do think however that might be confusing
Cornish Smith
Cornish Jones
Cornish Singh
Cornish Chan
Cornish Hocking
Cotnish Al-Khader OR

Joe Cornish/Fred Cornish/Muhammed Cornish/ Rajiv Cornish/ Yew Sin Cornish
Betty Cornish, Mabel Cornish,

Are you seeing this ?? Its just not going to work

Bogus

[stormforce]

7) Quote "The people of Cornwall can call themselves Cornish and not English/British on all forms and electoral roles" UNQUOTE

That directly contradicts No 6 and must therefore be a non-starter, unless Ive misunderstood and you want everyone to call themselves "Cornish" as a christian name or Surname, I do think however that might be confusing
Cornish Smith
Cornish Jones
Cornish Singh
Cornish Chan
Cornish Hocking
Cotnish Al-Khader OR

Joe Cornish/Fred Cornish/Muhammed Cornish/ Rajiv Cornish/ Yew Sin Cornish
Betty Cornish, Mabel Cornish,

Are you seeing this ?? Its just not going to work

Bogus

The Cornish want to be the same as the Scottish with our own Parliment
but we want a Stannery Parliment(i think thats what they call it) as we have our own language aswell

[dave.j.robbo]

The Cornish want to be the same as the Scottish with our own Parliment
but we want a Stannery Parliment(i think thats what they call it) as we have our own language aswell

Ah, but if you read number 6 again, it states we're British, not English/Cornish/Scottish etc..

[stormforce]

Ah, but if you read number 6 again, it states we're British, not English/Cornish/Scottish etc..

well it was worth a try,i shall knock that one off the list

[Bogus]

Quote:
Originally Posted by stormforce1067
The Cornish want to be the same as the Scottish with our own Parliment
but we want a Stannery Parliment(i think thats what they call it) as we have our own language aswell

Trust me on this one, you might think you want your own parliament but really you dont. Im a sweaty and speak from experience, all you get is another layer of grey suited unimaginative numpties who have loads of great ideas for robbing you and scamming their expenses, swanning off on useless junkets, and banning everything in sight, while at the same time being at the forefront of road tolls, " chelsea tractor" hatred campaigns and all sorts of miserable petty legislation. You are ony electing a bunch of people who know whats best for you, who hold you in contempt and who actually hate and despise you. How many governments do you think you need, Brussels, Westminster, Holyrood for us, and Brussels Westminster, and maybe Mousehole for you. aaaaaagggghhh HELP.

Bogus

[Maverick]

3) In order to protect our brave squaddies roadside bomb & mine clearing will be done by the 1st Asbo & Chav Battalion lead by that minesweeper expert David Blunkett ably assisted by John Prescott.

I'll agree to this if Plunketts dog is given a holiday. I mean for gods sake how would you like to be stuck with someone all day every day that just doesn't listen to you.

[That Ruddy Squirrel]

3) In order to protect our brave squaddies roadside bomb & mine clearing will be done by the 1st Asbo & Chav Battalion lead by that minesweeper expert David Blunkett ably assisted by John Prescott.

I'll agree to this if Plunketts dog is given a holiday. I mean for gods sake how would you like to be stuck with someone all day every day that just doesn't listen to you.

Now of course the dog would not be going (I would have mentioned it if it was going, I'm only picking on DUMB animals), it would be replaced by either B-Liar, Cherie or Prescott

[Leodis]

Now of course the dog would not be going (I would have mentioned it if it was going, I'm only picking on DUMB animals), it would be replaced by either B-Liar, Cherie or Prescott

Whats wrong with sending all 3 ????

[Chillitt]

i thought all the cornish already had the same surname..

[Granville]

Some of my suggestions.

9. Dig some big holes in all roads about every ten miles, fill them with mud and stuff. All those silly little cars that get stuck have to pay £500 road tax all the 4X4s that get through don’t pay a thing and get a free tank of fuel as well.

10. Every one who goes to work gets their wages in full, less only 10% tax for hospitals/emergency services etc. Every one who doesn’t work gets $$$$ all.

11. If you get caught breaking the law and sent to prison then that’s where you go non of this getting off for good behaviour $$$$. If we haven’t got enough prisons then get the prisoners to build some more, or give them a few old army tents to live in.

12. We should have the longest rope slide in the world built from the top of the cliffs at Dover over the channel and onto the French beach. Free rides for all illegal immigrants found in this country.

13. Schools will teach things the kids need to know, cooking, welding, building, not $$$$ing algebra and trigonometry

[Diezel Weazel]

Quote:
Originally Posted by stormforce1067
The Cornish want to be the same as the Scottish with our own Parliment
but we want a Stannery Parliment(i think thats what they call it) as we have our own language aswell

Trust me on this one, you might think you want your own parliament but really you dont. Im a sweaty and speak from experience, all you get is another layer of grey suited unimaginative numpties who have loads of great ideas for robbing you and scamming their expenses, swanning off on useless junkets, and banning everything in sight, while at the same time being at the forefront of road tolls, " chelsea tractor" hatred campaigns and all sorts of miserable petty legislation. You are ony electing a bunch of people who know whats best for you, who hold you in contempt and who actually hate and despise you. How many governments do you think you need, Brussels, Westminster, Holyrood for us, and Brussels Westminster, and maybe Mousehole for you. aaaaaagggghhh HELP.

Bogus

You are ony electing a bunch of people who ("THINK")[[COLOR="Black"[/COLOR] know whats best for you, who hold you in contempt and who actually hate and despise you.

[That Ruddy Squirrel]

Some of my suggestions.

9. Dig some big holes in all roads about every ten miles, fill them with mud and stuff. All those silly little cars that get stuck have to pay £500 road tax all the 4X4s that get through don’t pay a thing and get a free tank of fuel as well.

Can't we charge em to be towed out ?

[pops]

Now of course the dog would not be going (I would have mentioned it if it was going, I'm only picking on DUMB animals), it would be replaced by either B-Liar, Cherie or Prescott

BUT is the Dog British?? small point i know but needs thinking about