Announcement

**onlynik** · 25 November 2004, 22:40

I have been asked the following questions.

"Does the cd go in shiney side up or shiney side down?"

"I have an error message telling me that the wrong volume is inserted, but I've tried all the levels on the speakers and nothing works."

And the most common question..............

"During the startup it says "Invalid system disk press any key to continue", what is wrong?"

Take the floppy disc out of the drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**marky** · 25 November 2004, 22:42

Press any key to continue
WHERES THE ANY KEY ????

**Gizmo** · 25 November 2004, 23:03

two funny things have cropped up whilst I was a consultant.

1. Major Job upgrading PC's at different branches for a Global American Bank during Y2K project [including Trading Floors using Reuters systems] and was asked by the Project Leader used by the Bank if anyone knows about Word....so here we are thinking its at the level of Macros or VBA and hesitently said yes....

The question was:
how do I make the words bigger? DOH!!

2. Was told by a Systems Administrator about one user at another company who was using the Recycle Bin as a storage area for all her work [user thinking recycle meaning put in and get back out].

Administrator came one day to find the PC's Disk full and asked the user if it was Okay to clean up harddisk..Yes said the user...and you guessed it! the recycle bin was emptied with all the locally stored work having to be re-done. OUCH!

**_cj_** · 26 November 2004, 09:37

my nan at the grand old age of 85 started taking computer lessons and asked me if i could get her a computer. Well, i had loads of old bits lying around so i said i would build her one and asked her what she wanted on it, windows,word, excel etc.

all she asked for was a delete button because her tying wasnt very good

Regards,

alex

**dazzo23** · 26 November 2004, 22:05

Just lifted this from the web, apologies if it's been done before

****************************** ******************

This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations).

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know?"

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so".

Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer".

"I can't reach it."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes. The office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power.... a power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now."

"Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, unplug your system, and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a computer."

**Gizmo** · 26 November 2004, 22:54

Virus - got a cold

Heres a nother funny

Name: Tony
Date: 30 Jul 1999 Computer Virus

I hope this brightens some techie's day.

Last year, I took a call from an elderly woman who just purchased a computer. A virus scan message appeared on her screen. Before she called me however, she went to the drugstore in her neighborhood and bought a bottle of cough syrup and actually said to me that, since the computer had a virus, she figured that she should give it cold medicine! Every time I think of this, it makes me laugh! I'm glad for her sake she took the time to call me first! ":

Others

Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

Customer: "I can't log in to my account."
Tech Support: "Ok, let's look at your configuration."
Customer: "Ok...but I know that my User ID is case sensitive."
Tech Support: "Yes it is. Ok, what does it say in the 'User ID' field?"
Customer: "Like I said, 'Case Sensitive'."

Announcement

Help Desk...

Help Desk...

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment