Feeling silly

I think the problem starts with the opening line of the post,
"I got a call last night from a mate,".
If it was a close mate I would have done it for nothing to help him out of a fix and then an argument would of ensued with him insisting on paying.
If there was ever a cost involved I know that all my mates, friends and family would always offer to pay.
All the jobs that I have done for my mates where they have asked me for a price have never been a problem.
Recently did a shower for a mate, £250 estimate, on the last day of the job he was away, went in to finish off and there was £250 in cash with 6 bottles of wine and some flowers for the wife. Now that's a mate.
I do believe what goes around comes around and that you can be nice but firm.

I suppose we're all hoping that she does the wrong fuel thing again.

I think she will, she defo a few sarnies short of a buffet. I'm the same with proper mates as you are...it's the associates of mates that think they can TTP

Cheers for the feedback guys.......I do stuff for close mates all the time too...on the favour for a favour payment method, That's not aan issue at all, It's how you do things. But this was , now I learn, the husband of my friend Aarons wife!

How he thinks he falls into the 'favour for a favour' payment process I have no idea.
And yeah Thrifty.....I have lost all kinds due to 'lending' tools etc out....I just dont now, not unless I come attached to said item! haha

[JD_975]

Can see where your coming from there, I get a lot of friends of friends turning up as they find out I have diagnostic equipment to read fault codes etc on their cars, I just tell them before anything happens the machine cost me money and needs to pay for itself, no cash then go to the dealer!

You need to go ask for your money, even if the price you agreed was with your friend, if he said to carry out the work he now owes you the money and it's down to him to recoup it from the other person.

If the job was for an actual friend that's different, I spend hours helping people I know would help me.

And one final thing, your end price should always end with an uneven figure lol, very few people ever have change or five pound notes you see, £25 then becomes £30

[frontman]

I think the problem starts with the opening line of the post,
"I got a call last night from a mate,".
If it was a close mate I would have done it for nothing to help him out of a fix and then an argument would of ensued with him insisting on paying.
If there was ever a cost involved I know that all my mates, friends and family would always offer to pay.
All the jobs that I have done for my mates where they have asked me for a price have never been a problem.
Recently did a shower for a mate, £250 estimate, on the last day of the job he was away, went in to finish off and there was £250 in cash with 6 bottles of wine and some flowers for the wife. Now that's a mate.
I do believe what goes around comes around and that you can be nice but firm.

I suppose we're all hoping that she does the wrong fuel thing again.

[Albannach]

You're too soft, man up and go get your money.

I'd rather just not bother in future, saves me feeling like I'm just setting myself up for more disapointment. I agree with the winter asisstance thing that was mentioned to me on the Recovery fiasco thread, you know, helping elderly people get their meds and meals on wheels etc. If I'm not expecting to get anything for doing it then I'd feel much better...lol.

[Rustinho]

My recent history may say different, but I'm not that kind of bloke. I expect to be treated in the same way as I treat people. I went out of my way to help him bigtime, but he seems to think I 'owed' him my time for some reason. Hence my increasing inability to feel like wanting to help people out. It happens to me all of the time, honestly. I'm not exaggerating.

In that case I'd say you are probably "enabling" people by, for example, not going round and asking for the cash! You only get screwed around if you let people screw you around. That is completely different to helping someone out purely out of the goodness of your heart or to earn "karma points" or whatever.

[gwh200]

Man up, and go get your cash.

My recent history may say different, but I'm not that kind of bloke. I expect to be treated in the same way as I treat people. I went out of my way to help him bigtime, but he seems to think I 'owed' him my time for some reason. Hence my increasing inability to feel like wanting to help people out. It happens to me all of the time, honestly. I'm not exaggerating.

[gwh200]

What that says is, you might want to go round and ask for your cash.

Well...It's along story how I found it...oh feck it, here goes.

I got a call last night from a mate, Aaron...asking how he might get all of the petrol out his mates fuel tank on his Citroen Xsara HDi....yes uou heard correctly PETROL. His g/f (say no more) had accidentally put the wrong fuel in. Anyway, the car was parked outside Gateshead library and I told him I'd come to his house and pick him and his mate up and tow the car to my mates house. (After my ranting on here I decided to tryexercising my 'human kindness' gene again.

As we hooked his car up, I mentioned he might pay my fuel costs (a tenner) just as a token gesture etc etc. We got the car to his driveway without drama and I advised that I could drain the fuel out and prime the system back up with diesel for him, but would want £40 in return for my 2 hrs work. So an unofficial total of £50 was mentioned and we parted company until the following morning, obviously this morning. I arrived, drained the tank via the priming intank pump and then emptied the fuel filter and all the pipework etc. The cars owner turned up and we got talking etc about cars in general and he mentioned the Aforementioned Restoration Club because his dad used to keep an austin A40 or something there.

Anyway...I finished his car, after giving him a lift to the petrol station for diesel we got it running and left it ticking over for about 10 mins and carried on chatting....being the nice guy that I am, I didnt ask for any money as this is the point when he would normally get his wallet out and say 'Thanks for saving me £200, here's £50, thanks for towing my car illegally at 10 pm and then coming out this morning in the pouring rain and getting soaked while fixing my car for me'

What actually happened was, he said 'Thanks for the favour, if you ever need any pictures taken give me a shout!' and proceeded to jump in his car and feck off!!

Does this, or does this not confirm my 'helping people' rant the other day?

See, I'm confused.......

(incidentally, Aaron is going to have a quiet word with him as he is most embarrassed at the fact that his mate has done this to me)

[Jinja]

I need to find one of these clubs, I have several cars that I upgrade/mod etc., would be extremely useful to have use of a ramp and spray shop, would save me a lot agro!

[Rustinho]

but what's new.

I just been and joined my local Restoration Club. It's awesome.....use of all metal working facilities...powder coating...blasting, paint booth and 4 poster ramp plus access to all the other dudes who are in there doing their own cars (to annoy!) knowledge as well! all for a £30 a year membership and £7.50 per week bay hire if I need it too.......
The place has been going for as long as I have been alive and I only heard about it today!!! Thats pretty good going for someone who has been into classic cars for as long as I can remember!!

So, the Porsche can have its winter respray and....its only going to cost me about £200! Theres a rolling age limit of 20yrs old on the cars though...so cant do much other than mechanical stuff on the Surf and the Saab....but use of a ramp for brakes, bearings, driveshafts etc is pretty awesome anyway.

That sounds really cool - I wonder if there is anything like that in my neck of the woods? How did you find your local restoration club?

Access to a decent ramp in particular would be bl00dy useful. Got some new exhaust parts arriving early next week and I'm not looking forward to crawling underneath the Surf to try & fit them, never mind being outside in the crummy weather that seems to have descended on us lately.

.....wonder how long I'll last before I leave.....?

With a sense of humour like that you'll go far, lad!

but what's new.

I just been and joined my local Restoration Club. It's awesome.....use of all metal working facilities...powder coating...blasting, paint booth and 4 poster ramp plus access to all the other dudes who are in there doing their own cars (to annoy!) knowledge as well! all for a £30 a year membership and £7.50 per week bay hire if I need it too.......
The place has been going for as long as I have been alive and I only heard about it today!!! Thats pretty good going for someone who has been into classic cars for as long as I can remember!!

So, the Porsche can have its winter respray and....its only going to cost me about £200! Theres a rolling age limit of 20yrs old on the cars though...so cant do much other than mechanical stuff on the Surf and the Saab....but use of a ramp for brakes, bearings, driveshafts etc is pretty awesome anyway.


.....wonder how long I'll last before I leave.....?