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I have just changed both headlight bulbs, and both brake light bulbs, in the words of Little Brittain "What a kerfuffle!" those headlight bulbs are to do!
Jeezz,
1)
Remove both batterys
(Hah! if only I had a socket set this would be easy!)
Skin both knuckles on the valance un-doing the retaining bar nuts, and gently cook right hand when poz terminal and spanner arc to ground!
2)
Remove Washer fluid bottle, and radiator expansion tank
Umm wires too short to remove per- say, but can move to the battery area, oh damnnn, emptied both in the process, now grass is swampy, and the antifreeze is stinging the grazed knuckles.
3)
Remove air intake shield on nearside to access back of headlamp,
Ok, one bolt in view, one hidden, and found just before suicide occours.
Now have nice slice to right hand, due to spanner greasy from battery terminals slipping off the in-acessable nut and gashing hand on god only knows what.
4)
Ignore laughter from builders doing loft conversion
5)
Unscrew plastic ring, to access the rubber bulb bellow type cover thingy
Yeah right, its getting dark now, and the Maglight is chipping my front teeth!
The drivers side bonnet release cable is getting in the way, the grease from the battery terminals helps aid the gashing of left hand on something else, the builders are splitting their sides now!
6)
Remove rubber bellows thingy that covers the bulb access.
In future I shall un-plug the bulb wires first, then the burns to fingers whils re-soldering the plug on would not have occoured!
7)
Release spring clip that retains the bulb.
Like I said its now dark, the Maglight has tooth prints in it, my jaw hurts, the gag reflex is cutting in, and the frikking clip is a sod when fingers are too greasy.
8)
Remove and replace bulb
Ta blinking Dah!
9)
Un-do steps one to nine above!
Ah now the air intake filter thingy is plain refusing to go back, I have no more screen wash, I drop the bolt that holds the washer bottle, it lands with a plop into the mud I have created, hands and knee in mud with torch in teeth, batterys die, builders now in hysterics, I knock the bonnet stay whilst groping in mud, bonnet catch had been re-positioned whilst I re-assembled the Battery restraint on passenger side, now I think I may have broken some fingers here! Builder one falls from ladder, and does not mind one bit, they have as many tears as me running down faces, but their smiles are real.
10)
Last bolt back, batteries re-connected, engine starts, right hand headlight fails to come on.
Builders start howling, clutching at sides, unable to make verbal communication.
I howl clutch at fingers, and likewise am unable to make verbal communication.
11)
Kicking the bullbars brings right hand headlight to life, poss breaks right big toe, No way am I giving the builders the satisfaction of showing pain.
12)
Change brake light bulbs within 50 sec of starting.
Job done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
Now where can I find the address of the nice person that designed the headlight bulb access
Thank you Tony (aka the good Dr Anglegrinder) for your advice, If I find that removing the grille and headlights would have been easier, I may not but you that pint.
Jeezz,
1)
Remove both batterys
(Hah! if only I had a socket set this would be easy!)
Skin both knuckles on the valance un-doing the retaining bar nuts, and gently cook right hand when poz terminal and spanner arc to ground!
2)
Remove Washer fluid bottle, and radiator expansion tank
Umm wires too short to remove per- say, but can move to the battery area, oh damnnn, emptied both in the process, now grass is swampy, and the antifreeze is stinging the grazed knuckles.
3)
Remove air intake shield on nearside to access back of headlamp,
Ok, one bolt in view, one hidden, and found just before suicide occours.
Now have nice slice to right hand, due to spanner greasy from battery terminals slipping off the in-acessable nut and gashing hand on god only knows what.
4)
Ignore laughter from builders doing loft conversion
5)
Unscrew plastic ring, to access the rubber bulb bellow type cover thingy
Yeah right, its getting dark now, and the Maglight is chipping my front teeth!
The drivers side bonnet release cable is getting in the way, the grease from the battery terminals helps aid the gashing of left hand on something else, the builders are splitting their sides now!
6)
Remove rubber bellows thingy that covers the bulb access.
In future I shall un-plug the bulb wires first, then the burns to fingers whils re-soldering the plug on would not have occoured!
7)
Release spring clip that retains the bulb.
Like I said its now dark, the Maglight has tooth prints in it, my jaw hurts, the gag reflex is cutting in, and the frikking clip is a sod when fingers are too greasy.
8)
Remove and replace bulb
Ta blinking Dah!
9)
Un-do steps one to nine above!
Ah now the air intake filter thingy is plain refusing to go back, I have no more screen wash, I drop the bolt that holds the washer bottle, it lands with a plop into the mud I have created, hands and knee in mud with torch in teeth, batterys die, builders now in hysterics, I knock the bonnet stay whilst groping in mud, bonnet catch had been re-positioned whilst I re-assembled the Battery restraint on passenger side, now I think I may have broken some fingers here! Builder one falls from ladder, and does not mind one bit, they have as many tears as me running down faces, but their smiles are real.
10)
Last bolt back, batteries re-connected, engine starts, right hand headlight fails to come on.
Builders start howling, clutching at sides, unable to make verbal communication.
I howl clutch at fingers, and likewise am unable to make verbal communication.
11)
Kicking the bullbars brings right hand headlight to life, poss breaks right big toe, No way am I giving the builders the satisfaction of showing pain.
12)
Change brake light bulbs within 50 sec of starting.
Job done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
Now where can I find the address of the nice person that designed the headlight bulb access
Thank you Tony (aka the good Dr Anglegrinder) for your advice, If I find that removing the grille and headlights would have been easier, I may not but you that pint.
disco now gone aswell
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