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i am a miserable sod

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  • #16
    A couple of dog turds on the river bank where they sit normaly works well.
    Da slug man has a few points, but best left to last!

    Dont forget, Autumn is coming, endless days of grey drizzle and biting cold winds, that alone ought to do the job for you, next summer they will have discovered mopeds, girls, and booze, and it will only be in twenty years time when they look back at a wasted childhood that they will finaly miss that stream, and the idle hours spent there.
    Ok nicely done, when we dry off we can go find the boat!

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    • #17
      Originally posted by da SLUG man
      my mate lives above a kebab shop... kids playing outside giving ali ****, so we went to sort them out... when the dad turns up, threaten him first and he stays in his van!... also, he can't open the door if you're holding it shut... you're standing up, he's sitting down so ypou've got the advantage there too...

      remember that toughened side glass breaks easily with a pointed object, so for effect, wear a ring and punch the window out... grab him with both hands and headbutt him (in the nose, not on the forehead!!) (it's easier if you aim your eyes for his mouth)... slaps afterwards are good for humiliation.
      don't beat around the bush... if you know where they live, then go to their house...

      and CCTV needs a license if it's to be used for evidence.
      Are you sure you are right in the head?

      Only asking!
      Back in the world of Surfdom

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Chillitt
        blimey matt! i was just going to let em play in the river, cos its full of rats....
        Just make sure that if they do have an accident, the float down stream
        Back in the world of Surfdom

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        • #19
          no, i'll make sure they sink. upstream...
          it's in me shed, mate.

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          • #20
            poison all the fish....no fish no kids........

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            • #21
              Originally posted by DaveD
              poison all the fish....no fish no kids........
              poison all the kids...no kids....more fish.......got any cooking oil?
              Did I mention I have a BLUE one
              Tony

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              • #22
                I might have some veg oil in the back of the truck......

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Djandco
                  Are you sure you are right in the head?

                  Only asking!
                  i used to let people walk all over me... then i realised i was a cyclepath.
                  nee nar nee nar, i'm a fire engine!

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                  • #24
                    you see, thats what realy bugs me. THERE ARENT ANY FISH!!!!!
                    it's in me shed, mate.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Chillitt
                      you see, thats what realy bugs me. THERE ARENT ANY FISH!!!!!
                      go to the fairground... win some fish... put them in the river... poison the kids...

                      or, keep the kids hostage in a converted cellar, decorated like a bondage den!!...

                      they'd never hassle you again then!!
                      nee nar nee nar, i'm a fire engine!

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                      • #26
                        lock them in the shed and leave lots of sharp tools in so they can hack themselves to bits..................

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Chillitt
                          you see, thats what realy bugs me. THERE ARENT ANY FISH!!!!!
                          options
                          1 ask for a rent reduction because of kids
                          2 ask for a rent reduction because of lack of fish
                          3 beat up kids anyway - cos their there
                          4 beat up squire - cos he's not
                          5 beat up squire - cos his relatives there
                          6 beat up squire - cos he's not reduced your rent
                          7 beat up squire - cos he's not working class
                          8 go to chippy get load of fish (with chips), offie for tinnies and send bill to squire - best do this before you beat him up!
                          Did I mention I have a BLUE one
                          Tony

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                          • #28
                            You could always come and live with me - I have a stream and a BIG, BIG shed.


                            .........................
                            Jacqueline

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                            • #29
                              im on my way!
                              it's in me shed, mate.

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                              • #30
                                You're all nuts...

                                I may be slow on the up take here but all, and I do mean ALL the people on this forum are cuckin fookoo....

                                and chillit would you move in with Jacqueline for the company or the SHED !!!!!

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