i am a miserable sod

[Chillitt]

i have a stream along the edge of my garden, other side of the stream is a field, othe rside of the field is the village. quite close enough, i think...
anyway it being a stream village kids play in it. i just told a bunch of lads to do one(possibly using a few expletives too many...)
5 minutes later their dad turns up, says 1 of em is my landlords nephew, and they are fishing, and i cant stop em.
when i saw em 2 were running up and down the river, 2 were swinging on a branch trying to break it off the tree and 1 was digging with a branc they have allready broken off a tree( for worms apparently..)
now, question is, how do i stop the little herberts trashing the place?

[BUSHWHACKER]

I would talk to the landlord first, as it's his nephew thats causing the damage next to his property and likley to affect future tennants.

[asgawth]

Lay a mine field on the far side. That should slow em down Even better, remember Aliens and those chain guns.....

I would suggest videoing the brats. However, I have heard stories of adults doing this in the past and then getting a visit from plod asking why they were videoing childen!!!

Best of luck, I suffer from my local brats kicking balls etc into cars, windows etc.

[BUSHWHACKER]

A mate of mine is a 'special operations/surveillance' officer with the Newcastle police, and he says, It's ok to have cctv cameras protecting your property as long as they are not looking directly at another property and that you have signs displaying the fact that there are cameras in operation.

[Chillitt]

got the cctv. got the signs. hmmm... chain gun.....
this is slightly complicated by the fact that the landlord is a proper lord of the manor type and owns the whole village, and runs a system best described as ' feudal'....

[BUSHWHACKER]

Your Council is the next step, or does the landlord own them?

[Chillitt]

pretty much...

[BUSHWHACKER]

Hmmmm. It seems you need to organise an early hours 'visit' to his property, if you know what I mean.

[Tallyman]

Try writing to the landlord asking for a reduction in your rent/rates/groundrent/whatever on the grounds that your quality of life and the area is being ruined by children running wild and destroying his property!! Then tell him who they are, including his nephew. Then see what happens.

[30Surfer]

get a pet crocodile...you know and keep him in the stream.... a nice big bugga....

[surfenstein]

call the "A "team

[BUSHWHACKER]

Do ya wanna borrow my dogs for a weekend?
Exellent landlord and chav/oik repellant!

[da SLUG man]

my mate lives above a kebab shop... kids playing outside giving ali ****, so we went to sort them out... when the dad turns up, threaten him first and he stays in his van!... also, he can't open the door if you're holding it shut... you're standing up, he's sitting down so ypou've got the advantage there too...

remember that toughened side glass breaks easily with a pointed object, so for effect, wear a ring and punch the window out... grab him with both hands and headbutt him (in the nose, not on the forehead!!) (it's easier if you aim your eyes for his mouth)... slaps afterwards are good for humiliation.
don't beat around the bush... if you know where they live, then go to their house...

and CCTV needs a license if it's to be used for evidence.

[BUSHWHACKER]

hehehe, that sounds as if you were doing that recently.

[Chillitt]

blimey matt! i was just going to let em play in the river, cos its full of rats....