yippee

[Draig]

... all I gotta do is find a joke now!!!

well done Koi - brill idea this

[Draig]

beavers and beer

who said they don't mix?


http://www.funforwards.com/flash/jun...r_botchery.cfm

[Draig]

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by
the time she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

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How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men break wind more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ----------------------------------------

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, and Suffering.

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Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

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A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Oxford Street and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."

She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

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Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad: That happens in every country, son.

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A man inserted an advertisement in the classified section of the newspaper saying “Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

[Purpledoris]

Hey - I can watch BBC for repeats Draig !!

Only joking, but haven't you already posted these once?

[Draig]

to be honest - maybe - I don't know - seems like I've got a memory of a goldfish swimming round a goldfish bowl lately - hey is that a castle? - but I get so many jokes sent me - hey is that a castle? - that sometimes I might accidently post - hey is that a castle? - something I've done before - so you'll have to excuse me my foibles

[Linda]

Just keep making us laugh - we'll forgive you!!!

[colincd]

Jokes?

And like I said MUST REMEMBER to read posts ?
Otherwise I end up posting the same flippin jokes.
Draig we have to get together on these jokes you know

GREAT - BRILL - LOVE IT

A jokes page at long last.
Thanks Koi



Colin

[Draig]

gone all now lol

well i gotta hit the sack - I'm working working near bournemouth tomorrow and monday - I'll catch up with you all over the weekend - be good and have fun


here's one to be going on with

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican and because they are The Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.

"Dopey my son", says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me Your Excellency but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his nose at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling but Dopey turns around and silences them with a glare.

Dopey turns back to face the Pope. "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled again, thinks for a moment and then answers, "No, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

This time all the dwarfs burst into laughter and once again Dopey silences them with a furious glare.

"Mr. Pope, are there are there any dwarf nuns in the whole world?", asks Dopey.

The Pope answers, "I'm sorry, my son but there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding on the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting:

"Dopey screwed a penguin!"

"Dopey screwed a penguin!"


and the last one for tonight


A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date, nor any sex, in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist.

Her doctor recommended that she saw Dr. Chang, the well-known sex therapist.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose." So she did.

"Now, get down on all fours and crawl reery fass to the other side of room." So, she did.

Dr. Chang then said, "OK now crawl reery fass to me," so she did.

Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease... worse case I ever see ... that why you not haf sex or dates."

Confused, the woman asked, "What is Ed Zachary Disease?"



Wait for it........................



Dr. Chang replied, "It when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass


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nite all - sleep tight

[Linda]

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