Three old men

[TAF]

Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems. The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem. Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a p*ss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour 'cause my pee barely trickles out."

"Heck, that's nothing, " said the eighty year old. "Every morning at 8:30 I have to take a sh*t, but I have to sit on the can for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible".

The ninety-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every morning at 7:30 I p*ss like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I sh*t like a pig. The trouble with me is, I don't wake up till eleven."

[dirtydog]

Three more old men...

Three old men are at a service station at the urinals next to each other...
First man starts to go - 3 streams come out, "Whats wrong with you?" shouts another man, the first man looks down and says "The war - shrapnel".
Second man starts to go - 5 streams come out, "How d'you manage that?" shouts another man, the second man looks down and says "The war - shrapnel".
Third man starts to go - 22 streams come out!!! "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!???" they all shout! The third man looks down and replies "Oh balls my flies are still done up!"