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My neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30am this morning, can you believe that ! Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums......................... .............................. ..........
Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. when a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary).
Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming? " She was a bit taken aback when I replied , "Facebook, Haribo Bebo and puppies".
Just booked a table for Valentines Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though- She's crap at snooker.
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God , I love my new taser!
They say that sex is the best form of exercise . Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.
I’ve just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweatshops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers the little beggars deserved it !
The local Co-op ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather, fortunately, my elderly neighbour Doreen has plenty stacked up on her doorstep.
Don't think my interview as a child minder went that well . When I was asked if I'd ever watched children before my reply of "Yes , from my car " wasn't quite what they expected
Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. when a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary).
Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming? " She was a bit taken aback when I replied , "Facebook, Haribo Bebo and puppies".
Just booked a table for Valentines Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though- She's crap at snooker.
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God , I love my new taser!
They say that sex is the best form of exercise . Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.
I’ve just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweatshops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers the little beggars deserved it !
The local Co-op ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather, fortunately, my elderly neighbour Doreen has plenty stacked up on her doorstep.
Don't think my interview as a child minder went that well . When I was asked if I'd ever watched children before my reply of "Yes , from my car " wasn't quite what they expected