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a new cafe opened, and before long the food hygine paid it a visit...
there was bob, stood behind the counter, wearing a dirty appron, a dirty hat and he had black fingernails.
"what can i get ya?" asks bob, whilst picking his nose and scratching his behind
"il have a bacon cob, and a can of coke, ooo and one of those home made cakes"
so bob serves the man, unknowing he is a hygiene inspector.
after the inspector had eaten his food, he approached bob, who was once again digging for gold up his nose and in his behind.
"right" said the inspector
"i have been observing you since the minute i i walked in, your hygiene habits are disgusting, not once have i seen you wash your hands, all you seem to do is pick your nose and scratch your behind. i must tell you i am a food hygeine inspector, and i am disgusted with what i have seen today. You have got two weeks to clean up your act, otherwise i will be focred to shut you down"
bob, looking as shocked as ever, apoligised to the man, and promised he would clean up his act for 2 weeks time.
so, two weeks passed, and in walks the inspector.
bob, now weraing a new clean appron, clean white trousers, and a proper chefs hat asks the man what he would like.
once again the inspector orders his food, only this time he sees bob using a pair of tongues to pick the food up with, he also noticest a peice of string dangling from his crotch area.
the inspector asked bob if he remeberd who he was, bob said he didnt.
"im the food inspector",
"ah yes i remember you now" replied bob.
"i can see that you have cleaned up your act, your hygiene is 100% better than before."
"thankyou" replied bob.
"there is just one thing bothering me" said the inspector
"whats the peice of string for"
"im glad you asked" said bob
"its for when i go for a pee, when i want to get the ol` jhonson out, i simply undo by trouser button, and pull the string, and hey presto, he pops out, i do what i have to, without touching it"
the inpector was very impressed,
"thats fantastic, i can really see you have made every effort to improve the quality of your hygiene standards"
"thanks" said bob
"just one more question" said the inspector
"once youve been to the toilet, how do put your johnson away?"
with a huge grin on his face, clutching a pair of tongues in one hand,
he waved the tongues infront of the inspector and replied.....
"WHAT DO THINK THE TONGUES ARE FOR"
The inspector fainted, and passed out on the floor.
there was bob, stood behind the counter, wearing a dirty appron, a dirty hat and he had black fingernails.
"what can i get ya?" asks bob, whilst picking his nose and scratching his behind
"il have a bacon cob, and a can of coke, ooo and one of those home made cakes"
so bob serves the man, unknowing he is a hygiene inspector.
after the inspector had eaten his food, he approached bob, who was once again digging for gold up his nose and in his behind.
"right" said the inspector
"i have been observing you since the minute i i walked in, your hygiene habits are disgusting, not once have i seen you wash your hands, all you seem to do is pick your nose and scratch your behind. i must tell you i am a food hygeine inspector, and i am disgusted with what i have seen today. You have got two weeks to clean up your act, otherwise i will be focred to shut you down"
bob, looking as shocked as ever, apoligised to the man, and promised he would clean up his act for 2 weeks time.
so, two weeks passed, and in walks the inspector.
bob, now weraing a new clean appron, clean white trousers, and a proper chefs hat asks the man what he would like.
once again the inspector orders his food, only this time he sees bob using a pair of tongues to pick the food up with, he also noticest a peice of string dangling from his crotch area.
the inspector asked bob if he remeberd who he was, bob said he didnt.
"im the food inspector",
"ah yes i remember you now" replied bob.
"i can see that you have cleaned up your act, your hygiene is 100% better than before."
"thankyou" replied bob.
"there is just one thing bothering me" said the inspector
"whats the peice of string for"
"im glad you asked" said bob
"its for when i go for a pee, when i want to get the ol` jhonson out, i simply undo by trouser button, and pull the string, and hey presto, he pops out, i do what i have to, without touching it"
the inpector was very impressed,
"thats fantastic, i can really see you have made every effort to improve the quality of your hygiene standards"
"thanks" said bob
"just one more question" said the inspector
"once youve been to the toilet, how do put your johnson away?"
with a huge grin on his face, clutching a pair of tongues in one hand,
he waved the tongues infront of the inspector and replied.....
"WHAT DO THINK THE TONGUES ARE FOR"
The inspector fainted, and passed out on the floor.