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Apologies if you heard it before, but this my favourite ..... you need to adopt a Mexican accent (at least, in my case it works cause my accent is so atrocious it enhances the joke - great at dinner parties) ... here goes:
2 Mexican soldiers, Pedro and Huan are the only survivors from an attack in the middle of the desert. They have no water, no food, no sunglasses, no radios, nuttin! ... they are wandering lost and seemingly destined to die as their tiring steps lead them ever forward up and down sand dunes, stumbling and thirsty when all of a sudden Pedro says,
"I smell bacon!"
Huan looks at him and says,
"No no, you are mistaken. How can you think of bacon at a time like this?"
They stumble on and suddenly Pedro says,
"I see bacon!"
Huan looks at eem and is just about to retort when he, like Pedro, sees a bacon tree shimmering in the distance... They look at each other .... they mutter and lick dry lips .....
"It must be a mirage!" but they stumble forward urgently seeking to prove that this is not a mirage but perhaps, a Miracle!
They come the the last rise and indeed the bacon tree is seemingly closer.
"I must go and touch!" And so saying Pedro rushes on ahad while Huan does his best to keep up but slowly Pedro draws ahead until all of a sudden there is a rat-rat-a-rat-tat ...... silence.....
Pedro, badly wounded staggers back to where Huan is and says,
"Huan, eet iz not a bacon tree ........ it eez an hambush" !!
2 Mexican soldiers, Pedro and Huan are the only survivors from an attack in the middle of the desert. They have no water, no food, no sunglasses, no radios, nuttin! ... they are wandering lost and seemingly destined to die as their tiring steps lead them ever forward up and down sand dunes, stumbling and thirsty when all of a sudden Pedro says,
"I smell bacon!"
Huan looks at him and says,
"No no, you are mistaken. How can you think of bacon at a time like this?"
They stumble on and suddenly Pedro says,
"I see bacon!"
Huan looks at eem and is just about to retort when he, like Pedro, sees a bacon tree shimmering in the distance... They look at each other .... they mutter and lick dry lips .....
"It must be a mirage!" but they stumble forward urgently seeking to prove that this is not a mirage but perhaps, a Miracle!
They come the the last rise and indeed the bacon tree is seemingly closer.
"I must go and touch!" And so saying Pedro rushes on ahad while Huan does his best to keep up but slowly Pedro draws ahead until all of a sudden there is a rat-rat-a-rat-tat ...... silence.....
Pedro, badly wounded staggers back to where Huan is and says,
"Huan, eet iz not a bacon tree ........ it eez an hambush" !!