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THIS IS AN ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA.
RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSALS' ADVERTISEMENT
A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN PUNJABI ENGLISH
Madam :
I am an olden young uncle living only with myself
in Lahore .
Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Punjab . I am nice and big, six foot tall,
and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also.
Especially I like cricket,
and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller.
Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running.
Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly
at everyone. I am jolly.
I am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft.
Am always giving respect to the ladies.
I am always allowing ladies to get on top, that is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and
I am not sucking tobacco or anything else.
Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything.
Daily I am pumping and pumping.
If you want you can come and see how
much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my
pants is always open for
you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only.
What to do ? So I am taking things into my own
hands everyday.. That is
why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will
come in my house and my things into your hand.
If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I
will be loving you very hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb
belles in the Jim.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I
will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head
between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.
I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am
stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon
Yours and only yours
Choudhary Warraich, born by mother in Okara and
become big in Lahore,
Punjab
RESPONSE TO A 'MARRIAGE PROPOSALS' ADVERTISEMENT
A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN PUNJABI ENGLISH
Madam :
I am an olden young uncle living only with myself
in Lahore .
Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Punjab . I am nice and big, six foot tall,
and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also.
Especially I like cricket,
and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller.
Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running.
Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly
at everyone. I am jolly.
I am gay. ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft.
Am always giving respect to the ladies.
I am always allowing ladies to get on top, that is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and
I am not sucking tobacco or anything else.
Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything.
Daily I am pumping and pumping.
If you want you can come and see how
much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my
pants is always open for
you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only.
What to do ? So I am taking things into my own
hands everyday.. That is
why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will
come in my house and my things into your hand.
If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I
will be loving you very hard every day.. fact, I will stop pumping dumb
belles in the Jim.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I
will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head
between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.
I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am
stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon
Yours and only yours
Choudhary Warraich, born by mother in Okara and
become big in Lahore,
Punjab