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In the Aberdeenshire countryside a man enters the local Catholic Church and at confessional says to the Priest, "Faither, it has been one month since my last confession, and I've sinned wi Fannie Reid every wik for i past month."
The Priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven.
Go out and say three Hail Mary's."
Soon, another man enters the confessional.
"Faither, it has been twa months since my last confession.
I have sinned wi Fannie Reid twice a wik for i past twa months."
This time the Priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Reid?"
"A new quine in the neighbourhood, she is affa, affa bonny, she looks a wee bit like Judy Garland in the Wizard of Oz" the sinner replies.
"Very well," says the Priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."
The next morning in church, the Priest is preparing to deliver his sermon, when a beautiful woman looking a little bit like Judy Garland, with a tiny dog a little bit like Toto enters the church.
All the men's eyes fall upon her as she goes up the aisle, and sits down in front of the Altar.
Her dress is very short, and she is wearing shiny ruby red shoes.
The Priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread, Sharon Stone-style.
The Priest turns to the altar boy and asks in a whisper,
"Is that Fannie Reid?"
The altar boy replies ... ..............
"A dinna think so Faither,
a think it's jist i reflection aff her shoe"
The Priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven.
Go out and say three Hail Mary's."
Soon, another man enters the confessional.
"Faither, it has been twa months since my last confession.
I have sinned wi Fannie Reid twice a wik for i past twa months."
This time the Priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Reid?"
"A new quine in the neighbourhood, she is affa, affa bonny, she looks a wee bit like Judy Garland in the Wizard of Oz" the sinner replies.
"Very well," says the Priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."
The next morning in church, the Priest is preparing to deliver his sermon, when a beautiful woman looking a little bit like Judy Garland, with a tiny dog a little bit like Toto enters the church.
All the men's eyes fall upon her as she goes up the aisle, and sits down in front of the Altar.
Her dress is very short, and she is wearing shiny ruby red shoes.
The Priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread, Sharon Stone-style.
The Priest turns to the altar boy and asks in a whisper,
"Is that Fannie Reid?"
The altar boy replies ... ..............
"A dinna think so Faither,
a think it's jist i reflection aff her shoe"
