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Real reply written by my friend. Made me laugh so thought i would share it.
Dear ????
Thank you so much for the kind invitation to your forthcoming celebration.
Of course I shall be delighted to attend. Indeed I have already ventured into St Austell to scour the charity shops in search of the perfect gift to commemorate this auspicious occasion. Not easy for the man who has everything. I have found nothing as yet but I don’t give up easily .
How very kind and thoughtful of you to allow me to bring a friend, not easy for me as you will realise.I have considered handing out a flyer on the No27 St Austel to Truro bus [known locally as the bus pass special] although probably better called the flatulence express
I wondered about dropping in to the Stenalees over 60s bingo, on Thursday nights – now held at Penwithick social club, due to vandalism .
But no ! I decided to thumb through the pages of Exchange and Mart – Remember looking longingly at that real Spanish guitar for £6.10s or searching for a Vox amp ? Well my search took me to the lonely hearts columns and there I found a mature lady who described herself as living in London & Cornwall. Great I thought, a city high flyer with a country retreat Ideal ! Sadly she’s in Holloway prison and allowed out some weekends to go home to Camborne. Apparently the tagging doesn't affect her social activities. If for some reason she is unable to attend perhaps you wouldn’t mind if I bring the bloke down the road who- like you used to be in the music business. – he ran a secondhand record stall in Brixton market and has a passing acquaintance with reality He is currently searching out a copy of Southerland Brothers & Quivers greatest hits for me.
I asked him what he thought of Dr John [ as you know a great favourite of mine ] He said he didn’t bother with all that he preferred the well endowed blonde bird on reception at the surgery whenever he needs a repeat script for his Methadone .
Dear ????
Thank you so much for the kind invitation to your forthcoming celebration.
Of course I shall be delighted to attend. Indeed I have already ventured into St Austell to scour the charity shops in search of the perfect gift to commemorate this auspicious occasion. Not easy for the man who has everything. I have found nothing as yet but I don’t give up easily .
How very kind and thoughtful of you to allow me to bring a friend, not easy for me as you will realise.I have considered handing out a flyer on the No27 St Austel to Truro bus [known locally as the bus pass special] although probably better called the flatulence express
I wondered about dropping in to the Stenalees over 60s bingo, on Thursday nights – now held at Penwithick social club, due to vandalism .
But no ! I decided to thumb through the pages of Exchange and Mart – Remember looking longingly at that real Spanish guitar for £6.10s or searching for a Vox amp ? Well my search took me to the lonely hearts columns and there I found a mature lady who described herself as living in London & Cornwall. Great I thought, a city high flyer with a country retreat Ideal ! Sadly she’s in Holloway prison and allowed out some weekends to go home to Camborne. Apparently the tagging doesn't affect her social activities. If for some reason she is unable to attend perhaps you wouldn’t mind if I bring the bloke down the road who- like you used to be in the music business. – he ran a secondhand record stall in Brixton market and has a passing acquaintance with reality He is currently searching out a copy of Southerland Brothers & Quivers greatest hits for me.
I asked him what he thought of Dr John [ as you know a great favourite of mine ] He said he didn’t bother with all that he preferred the well endowed blonde bird on reception at the surgery whenever he needs a repeat script for his Methadone .