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  • Only in Australia

    Two Aussie builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table
    in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits
    on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the
    occupation of the 'suit'.

    Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.

    Eric: - No way - he's a stockbroker.

    Phil: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

    The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
    gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the
    toilet he sees that The 'suit' is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and
    the several beers get the better of the builder.

    Phil: - 'Scuse me.. No offence meant, but me and me mate were
    wondering what you do for a living?

    Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.

    Phil: - Oh! What's that then?

    Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at
    home?

    Phil: - Er... Mmm . Well yeah, I do as it happens!

    Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in
    a pond. Which is it?

    Phil: - It's in a pond!

    Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large
    garden

    Phil: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

    Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have
    a large garden then you have a large house?

    Phil: - As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!

    Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is
    logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that
    you are quite probably married?

    Phil: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.

    Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
    with your wife on a regular basis?

    Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!

    Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate
    very often?

    Phil: - Me? Never.

    Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

    Phil: - How's that then?

    Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
    about your sex life!

    Phil: - I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!




    Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.

    Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

    Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

    Eric: - What's that then?

    Phil: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

    Eric: - Nope.

    Phil: - Well then, you're a ####er
    Still Searching,
    Dick Whittington
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