Real Glaswegian Nicknames (allegedly!)

[Albannach]

Two Soups - his real name is Campbell Baxter .
Norrie Two Bunnets - the Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under his cloth cap.
The Colostomy - the girlfriend of a married man (ie. the wee bag on the side).
The Boomerang Kid - whenever anyone at work asks a question, he always replies: 'I'll get back to you on that.'
The Parachute - lets everyone down at the last minute.
Cashline - an experienced young lass who's open 24 hours a day.
Vaseline - his real name is Willie Burns .
Bo Derek - a chap called Derek with terrible body odour.
Brewer's Droop - his real name is Willie Falls .
The Genie - magically appears whenever anyone opens a bottle.
The Marksman - when it's his turn to buy a round, he always shoots the craw
Dulux - his pals reckon he's only got one coat.
Soapy - washes his hands of any problems that crop up.
Captain Hook - continually late for work, it's believed he must be scared of the alarm clock..
The Yeti - always on the sick, there have been many unconfirmed sightings of this guy, but nobody can prove he actually exists.
The Gas Man - he's serviced loads of old boilers.
The Hostage - when anyone asks for help he always replies: 'Sorry, my hands are tied.
The Woodpecker - he's always tapping.
Mussolini - a woman in an office in Glasgow who has rather loose morals (aka the great dicktaker)
Blister- only appears when the work`s done

[That Ruddy Squirrel]

The Yeti - always on the sick, there have been many unconfirmed sightings of this guy, but nobody can prove he actually exists.

But we CAN prove he exists, we can smell him from here