Essex Girls. Luv you really???

[Philip]

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
'How many children?' asks the council worker.
'10' replies the Essex girl.j
'10?' says the council worker. 'What are their names?'
'Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne.'
'Doesn't that get confusing?'
'Naah...' says the Essex girl 'its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it...'
'What if you want to speak to one individually?' says the perturbed council worker.
'That's easy,' says the Essex girl... 'I just use their surnames.'



An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: 'It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?'
Girl: 'OK'
Medic: 'What's your name?'
Girl: ' Sharon .'
Medic: 'OK Sharon , is this your car?'
Sharon : 'Yes.'
Medic: 'Where are you bleeding from?'
Sharon : 'Romford, mate.'




An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, 'Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!'
'It's not just one car!' said the Essex girl, 'There's f*cking hundreds of them!'

[Sancho]

I know a couple of Essex girl jokes. They are a bit rude though. I think they can be found on TonyN's little forum.