> A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I
> clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
> The driver says, "I'm sorry officer, I had it on cruise
> control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."
>
> Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the
> passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car
> doesn't have cruise control."
>
> As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks
> over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"
>
> The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
> detector went off when it did."
>
> As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
> detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through
> clenched teeth,
>
> "Damn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?!"
> The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing
> your seat belt, sir. That 's an automatic £75 fine."
>
> The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took
> it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license
> out of my back pocket."
>
> The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have
> your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
>
> And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
> turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE F--K UP?!"
>
> The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband
> always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
>
>
> WAIT FOR IT............
>
>
>
>
> WAIT FOR IT............
>
>
>
>
> WAIT FOR IT . . . . ....... . . . . . . . . . . .
>
>
> "Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."
> clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
> The driver says, "I'm sorry officer, I had it on cruise
> control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."
>
> Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the
> passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car
> doesn't have cruise control."
>
> As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks
> over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"
>
> The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
> detector went off when it did."
>
> As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
> detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through
> clenched teeth,
>
> "Damn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?!"
> The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing
> your seat belt, sir. That 's an automatic £75 fine."
>
> The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took
> it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license
> out of my back pocket."
>
> The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have
> your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
>
> And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
> turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE F--K UP?!"
>
> The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband
> always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
>
>
> WAIT FOR IT............
>
>
>
>
> WAIT FOR IT............
>
>
>
>
> WAIT FOR IT . . . . ....... . . . . . . . . . . .
>
>
> "Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."