Post inflation

[cataclysm]

Just a few more posts before I hit the first milestone of 50, so here's some jokes to keep y'all entertained.

[cataclysm]

Two blonde carpenters were building on a house. One blonde was on a ladder nailing two by fours together to framing a window. She'd reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over her shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.

The other blonde couldn't stand it any longer and yelled up, "Why the hell are you throwing some of your nails away?"

The first blonde explained, "When I pull a nail out of my nail pouch, if the pointed end is pointed toward me I have to throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it!"

The second blonde explained, "Don't throw away the nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house!!"

[cataclysm]

Comprehending Engineers (we're an odd lot)


Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."


An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."


What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.


The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

[nero279]

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

quality, like that one.