Dentist extraction

[Highlander1]

A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth
extraction. '£85 for an extraction, sir' '£85?', the man replies. 'Huv
ye no'got anythin' cheaper?' 'That's the normal charge,' replies the
dentist. 'Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthetic?' 'That's unusual,
sir, but I could do it and knock £15 off.' 'Whit aboot if ye used one of
your dentist trainees and still withoot an anesthetic?' 'I can't guarantee
their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop to
£40.' 'How aboot if ye make it a
trainin' session, 'ave yer student do the extraction with the other
students watchin' and learnin'?' 'It'll be good for the students' mulled
the dentist. 'I'll charge you £5. But it will be traumatic.' 'Och, now
yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal,' said the Scotsman. 'Can ye confirm an
appointment for the wife next Tuesday then?'

[Bogus]

Hamish says to wife

Ahm gaun doon the pub, pit yer coat oan hen

Ahh Hamish, you takin me wi you, thats nice











Dinnae be daft wummin, Ahm pittin the heating aff afore ah go