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These are truly bad.........
Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
A man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar... "Pint of best please." He says to the barman. Whilst waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van Gogh is sitting at one of the tables. He goes up to him and says... "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?" "Yes." The old man replies. "Can I buy you a pint?" asked our friend. "No, ta. I've got one 'ere."
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
Two boll weevils grew up in Cornwall. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind, drove a tractor and never amounted to much. Understandably, the second became known as the lesser of two weevils.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old Wild West, slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "Why's that?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because..." He said... "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Big finale.....
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she
also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal
Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
A man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar... "Pint of best please." He says to the barman. Whilst waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van Gogh is sitting at one of the tables. He goes up to him and says... "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?" "Yes." The old man replies. "Can I buy you a pint?" asked our friend. "No, ta. I've got one 'ere."
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
Two boll weevils grew up in Cornwall. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind, drove a tractor and never amounted to much. Understandably, the second became known as the lesser of two weevils.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old Wild West, slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "Why's that?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because..." He said... "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Big finale.....
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she
also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal