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SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
>
>Two men were talking.
>"So, how's your sex life?"
>"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
>"Social Security sex?"
>"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
>
>----------------------------------------
>
>LOUD SEX:
>A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,
>doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out
>this ear splitting yell."
>"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what
>the problem is."
>"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
>
>----------------------------------------
>
>QUIET SEX:
>
>Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
>during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you
>have an orgasm?"
>She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
>
>---------------------------------------
>
>CONFOUNDED SEX
>
>A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn
>from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give
>him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery,
>since it was considered cosmetic.
>The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small", $6,500 for
>"medium", $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium
>or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before
>he made any decision.
>The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The
>doctor came back int o the room, and found the man looking dejected.
>"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
>The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
>
>----------------------------------------
>
>WOMEN'S HUMOR
>
>My husband came home with a tube of K-Y jelly and said, "This will make
>you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom,
>I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
>
>---------------------------------------
>
>MORE WOMEN'S HUMOR
>
>A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
>happiest woman in the world."
>The woman says..... "I'll miss you."
>
>Two men were talking.
>"So, how's your sex life?"
>"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
>"Social Security sex?"
>"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
>
>----------------------------------------
>
>LOUD SEX:
>A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem,
>doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out
>this ear splitting yell."
>"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what
>the problem is."
>"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
>
>----------------------------------------
>
>QUIET SEX:
>
>Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
>during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you
>have an orgasm?"
>She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
>
>---------------------------------------
>
>CONFOUNDED SEX
>
>A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn
>from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give
>him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery,
>since it was considered cosmetic.
>The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small", $6,500 for
>"medium", $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium
>or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before
>he made any decision.
>The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The
>doctor came back int o the room, and found the man looking dejected.
>"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
>The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
>
>----------------------------------------
>
>WOMEN'S HUMOR
>
>My husband came home with a tube of K-Y jelly and said, "This will make
>you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom,
>I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
>
>---------------------------------------
>
>MORE WOMEN'S HUMOR
>
>A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
>happiest woman in the world."
>The woman says..... "I'll miss you."