Tweet
With the recent news that France will be sending troops to the Lebanon to assist in peace keeping there details of
just been announced of how the contingent will be made up:
ARMY
1) The First battalion of the Infanterie de Marine Surrender. This prestigious unit has been surrendering with flair
and style since 1847, they will be equipped with two white flags per man and each commander will carry a
translation of the Regimental Motto translated into Arabic " We give up, would you like to meet my sister?"
2) The Second battalion of the Armoured Cavalry, the Arme Blindée Cavalerie. Traditionally horse mounted but now
operators of heavy armour the French cavalry surrenders from within heavily armoured tanks by waving its white flag
from the turret. The regimental Colonel , M Guy De Giveup-Quick said, "We are looking forward to finding a small
group of Lebanese soldiers and surrendering as soon as possible."
3) Light aviation (ALAT, or aviation légère de l'armée de terre), France has recognised the power of helicopters in
the modern battlefield and employs the ALAT to fly ahead of ground troops preparing the way for a quick
capitulation when they arrive. Equipped with the Eurocopter YellowBack 3000 helicopter with the special French
designed flashing "We Give Up - Please Don't Shoot" underslung illuminated combat pod.
4) Chasseurs Alpins or Mountain troops are specially trained to work at altitude. Their role is to search for any
mountains in Lebanon, climb to the top and then unfurl a big banner with the message - "We are cheese eating
surrender monkeys and would be really grateful if you didn't shoot at us - Thanks, do you fancy a croissant
?"
5) The Foreign Legion - Following intense lobbying from the top brass of the French forces the Foreign Legion will
not be sent. A spokesman explained why,
"The Legion is made up of foreigners not Frenchman and as such they fail to follow the proud traditions of the Army
and don't surrender as soon as the enemy appears over the hill, why at times in their history Legionnaires have
even engaged in battles - Merde !"
NAVY
France will be sending the aircraft carrier Charles De Gaulle. Its role will be to stay several miles off-shore and
provide a stable platform for serving aperitifs and runny cheese to sailors. In the event of hostilities it has orders to
sail immediately to Cyprus and ask the Royal Navy for help
AIR FORCE
The Armée de l'Air is sending units from Varennes sur Allier, Ambérieu-en-Bugey, and Châteaudun. They are
equipped with the Mirage 2000SHOYE (Surrender and Hand Over Your Equipment) Fighter Bomber. The first use
for these aircraft is expected to be leaflet drops, the leaflets will give details of where the French Army will be
surrendering so locals can watch the ancient ceremonies for which the Army is famous. These include:
Hear is my sword - I'm really sorry about the fuss
Would you like to stay at my château ?
Wait until the Allies come and liberate us, then you'll be sorry !
just been announced of how the contingent will be made up:
ARMY
1) The First battalion of the Infanterie de Marine Surrender. This prestigious unit has been surrendering with flair
and style since 1847, they will be equipped with two white flags per man and each commander will carry a
translation of the Regimental Motto translated into Arabic " We give up, would you like to meet my sister?"
2) The Second battalion of the Armoured Cavalry, the Arme Blindée Cavalerie. Traditionally horse mounted but now
operators of heavy armour the French cavalry surrenders from within heavily armoured tanks by waving its white flag
from the turret. The regimental Colonel , M Guy De Giveup-Quick said, "We are looking forward to finding a small
group of Lebanese soldiers and surrendering as soon as possible."
3) Light aviation (ALAT, or aviation légère de l'armée de terre), France has recognised the power of helicopters in
the modern battlefield and employs the ALAT to fly ahead of ground troops preparing the way for a quick
capitulation when they arrive. Equipped with the Eurocopter YellowBack 3000 helicopter with the special French
designed flashing "We Give Up - Please Don't Shoot" underslung illuminated combat pod.
4) Chasseurs Alpins or Mountain troops are specially trained to work at altitude. Their role is to search for any
mountains in Lebanon, climb to the top and then unfurl a big banner with the message - "We are cheese eating
surrender monkeys and would be really grateful if you didn't shoot at us - Thanks, do you fancy a croissant
?"
5) The Foreign Legion - Following intense lobbying from the top brass of the French forces the Foreign Legion will
not be sent. A spokesman explained why,
"The Legion is made up of foreigners not Frenchman and as such they fail to follow the proud traditions of the Army
and don't surrender as soon as the enemy appears over the hill, why at times in their history Legionnaires have
even engaged in battles - Merde !"
NAVY
France will be sending the aircraft carrier Charles De Gaulle. Its role will be to stay several miles off-shore and
provide a stable platform for serving aperitifs and runny cheese to sailors. In the event of hostilities it has orders to
sail immediately to Cyprus and ask the Royal Navy for help
AIR FORCE
The Armée de l'Air is sending units from Varennes sur Allier, Ambérieu-en-Bugey, and Châteaudun. They are
equipped with the Mirage 2000SHOYE (Surrender and Hand Over Your Equipment) Fighter Bomber. The first use
for these aircraft is expected to be leaflet drops, the leaflets will give details of where the French Army will be
surrendering so locals can watch the ancient ceremonies for which the Army is famous. These include:
Hear is my sword - I'm really sorry about the fuss
Would you like to stay at my château ?
Wait until the Allies come and liberate us, then you'll be sorry !
Comment