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Making Bacon

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  • Making Bacon

    A pig farmer has been trying to get his pigs to breed for some months without success. He has tried several different male pigs but to his annoyance the sows just ain't interested. Finally he goes to his vet in desperation. The vet tells him that he has no choice but to try artificial insemination.

    Now this particular pig farmer is not the most intelligent around, but despite not being entirely sure what is required of him he assures the vet that he'll give it his best shot. He heads straight back to the farm and explains to his wife what the vet said. Then he rounds up all the pigs and loads them into the back of his lorry. He drives down into the woods, miles from anywhere, where no one should disturb him and proceeds to take the pigs out of the truck, one by one and shags them.

    He finishes just as the sun is going down and returns to the farm. Before heading off for bed he tells his wife that she will have to check the pigs in the morning as he is too knackered. Any pigs that have taken will be lying down, if not they will be standing up. With that he goes to sleep.

    The following morning, he is woken by his wife, who tells him that all the pigs are standing up. The farmer gets up, and reloads the truck, taking all the pigs back down to the woods and repeats his endeavours of the day before. he comes home and goes to sleep. The following morning his wife wakes him again with the same news and so he heads off to the woods for the third time. Just to make sure, after shagging them all once, he goes round again and gives each a second go. Absolutely exhausted he arrives back at the farm and goes to sleep.

    The morning comes and he is overjoyed to see his wife come running in with a big grin on her face. "Has it happened? Are they lying down?" he asks her eagerly. "No" she replies, "but all the pigs are already in the truck and one of them is beeping the horn!"
    Dan
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