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  • Gasgow

    Probably over yer heeds but here we go....

    U R A GLASWEGIAN If:

    1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan Milngavie, Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

    2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

    3. Ye get four seasons in wan day.

    4. Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

    5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

    6. Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!

    7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

    8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.

    9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

    10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

    11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

    12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

    13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

    14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

    15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

    16. A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.

    17. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

    18. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

    19. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.

    20. Finally, you are 100% Glaswegian if you have ever said/heard these words...

    how's it hingin
    clatty
    boggin
    cludgie
    pished
    get it up ye
    wee beasties
    arse bandit
    amurny
    away an bile yer heid
    peely-wally
    humphey backit
    Ba'-heid
    baw bag
    dubble nuggit

    Wee Glesca wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has
    just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back,
    with his rear end aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?"
    "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's Ah'm heatin'."

  • #2
    Priceless!
    Peter

    I am not a number. I am a FREE MAN!

    Comment


    • #3
      good golly, i'm a weegie!

      it's like oor wullie with swear words!
      nee nar nee nar, i'm a fire engine!

      Comment


      • #4
        And don't forget, you actually go oot on a saturday night to ghee someone a right gubbin'.
        Is it supposed to sound like this??

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        • #5
          ach awa an shoogle yer haund ya numpty!
          yer baffies ar bowfin'

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          • #6
            pure dead gallus by the way

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            • #7
              What?????????
              Parts of your engine go up, stop then go back! Mm!

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              • #8
                Obviously this person is 'glaikit' n no braw!

                Comment


                • #9
                  whats no.15 all about?

                  holiday home?

                  other than that all applies to my old man, from sussex street, old tenement , kinning park. is that still there do you know? prob knocked down and a flyover by now or something

                  don't forget gives directions by pointing of the feet with hands firmly rooted in pocket (just in case they're after the money!)
                  Last edited by logey79; 25 May 2006, 22:32.
                  i swear, it was like that when i got here...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Never ever stop and ask directions in Glesgi 'cos at best you will be used as a taxi "aye thats where I live" then "mibbi no" on arrival at his hoose, at worst he/she wont get out 'till you get home with the new lodger who wont go leave till the swally's done in!

                    Did you know Easterhoose is the source of the river Clyde due to the fact EVERYBODY there gobs, spits and snots enuf fluid to float the QE2 every day!

                    78% of homes in Glesgi dont have an income apart from dodgy stuff / state handouts BUT on the other hand we have Edinburgh the one street dangerous place where 72% are employed 8 hours a week if arsed ScotGov style = 125K+ but them basa's got the castle.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Peoples eyes glaze over if you even mention Auchtermuchty around here...

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