Tweet
The Head
A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on the beach. Hes approached by 3 stunning ladies who take pit on him.
the 1st woman asks, 'Have you ever been hugged?'
'No', replies the man...so the lady hugs him
the 2nd woman asks, 'Have you ever been kissed?'
'No' replies the man, so she bends over and kisses him
the 3rd woman asks, 'Have you ever been fu**ed?'
'No' replies the man as his eyes light up
'Well you are now, the tides coming in!'
Divorce Settlement
"Mr Quinn, I have reviewed your case particularly carefully", the divorce court judge said, "And I have decided to award your wife a total sum of £500 per month"
"That seems to be more than fair, your honour, and I shall do my best to send her and the kids a few pounds each month also"
Paula Yates Busted
The police raided Paula Yates house. While there they found amphetamines, narcotics and anabolic steroids, but they couldnt find the other little girl
Potential versus Reality
A teenager comes home from school one day and asks his dad,' Whats the difference between potential and reality?'
Hid dad thinks for a little while, and says 'Ask your mum if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million pounds. The ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for the same amount'
So the kid asks his mum and gets the answer 'Yes', he asks his sister and receives the answer 'Yes'
The kid goes back to his dad and says,'I've got it..Potentially we're sitting on 2 million quid, but in reality..we're living with two slappers'
A man with no arms or legs is sunbathing on the beach. Hes approached by 3 stunning ladies who take pit on him.
the 1st woman asks, 'Have you ever been hugged?'
'No', replies the man...so the lady hugs him
the 2nd woman asks, 'Have you ever been kissed?'
'No' replies the man, so she bends over and kisses him
the 3rd woman asks, 'Have you ever been fu**ed?'
'No' replies the man as his eyes light up
'Well you are now, the tides coming in!'
Divorce Settlement
"Mr Quinn, I have reviewed your case particularly carefully", the divorce court judge said, "And I have decided to award your wife a total sum of £500 per month"
"That seems to be more than fair, your honour, and I shall do my best to send her and the kids a few pounds each month also"
Paula Yates Busted
The police raided Paula Yates house. While there they found amphetamines, narcotics and anabolic steroids, but they couldnt find the other little girl
Potential versus Reality
A teenager comes home from school one day and asks his dad,' Whats the difference between potential and reality?'
Hid dad thinks for a little while, and says 'Ask your mum if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million pounds. The ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for the same amount'
So the kid asks his mum and gets the answer 'Yes', he asks his sister and receives the answer 'Yes'
The kid goes back to his dad and says,'I've got it..Potentially we're sitting on 2 million quid, but in reality..we're living with two slappers'