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Some modern definitions......

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  • Some modern definitions......

    Work-place vocabulary

    TESTICULATING Waving your arms around and talking ********.

    BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
    missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

    SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in makes a lot of noise, ****s on
    everything, and then leaves.

    ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and
    advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

    SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
    only to get screwed and die.

    CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

    PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
    farm, and people?s heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on.
    (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be
    cake.)

    MOUSE POTATO.The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato

    SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies
    turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay
    home with the kids or start a "home business".

    STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny

    PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the **** out of an
    electronic device to get it to work again.

    ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the
    rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
    profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
    to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia? -
    needless paperwork and processes.

    404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
    "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

    OHNOSECOND That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that
    you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all') - New


    GOING FOR A Mc**** Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of
    buying food, you?re just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff
    member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is
    known as a Mc**** with Lies.

    AUSSIE KISS Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

    BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze
    cruise at 3am in the morning.

    BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home
    after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you
    live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

    BOBFOC Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

    BREAKING THE SEAL Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of
    drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the
    toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

    GREYHOUND A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

    JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical
    adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the
    badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to
    show their level of training.

    MILLENNIUM DOMES The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive
    when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nought in there worth
    seeing.

    MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!
    Oo! Ho! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

    MYSTERY BUS The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're
    in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
    people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

    MYSTERY TAXI The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning
    before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a
    10-Pinter in your bed instead.

  • #2
    Brilliant, thought Greyhound best
    Should have bought a 3ltr

    Comment


    • #3
      Excellent.

      Acceptable use policy forbids circulation at work
      Peter

      I am not a number. I am a FREE MAN!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by CaptainBeaky
        Excellent.

        Acceptable use policy forbids circulation at work
        Doesn't that just suck? I cant even open thumbnails to have a look at the full size picture when at work. Won't play videos. Can't check eBay. They have installed something called Interscan Virus Wall......."You are not llowed to view this page. Please contact your system administrator."


        It's only a hobby!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by CaptainBeaky
          Excellent.

          Acceptable use policy forbids circulation at work
          think yourself lucky!... my work computer only tells me my fuel economy and beeps every 5 mins with ABS/EBS fault...
          nee nar nee nar, i'm a fire engine!

          Comment

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