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  • Meanings.

    DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:




    40-ish........................... .....49




    Adventurous................... ....Slept with everyone.




    Athletic...................... .........No breasts.




    Average looking....................Moo ooooo.



    Beautiful..................... .........Pathological liar.




    Emotionally Secure................On medication.




    Feminist...................... ..........Fat.



    Free spirit........................ ....Junkie.




    Friendship first......................For mer sl*t.



    New-Age........................... .Body hair in the wrong places.




    Old-fashioned..................... ..No BJs.




    Open-minded.......................D esperate.



    Outgoing...................... ......Loud and Embarrassing.



    Professional.................. ........B*tch.




    Voluptuous.................... ......Very Fat.



    Large frame......................... Hugely Fat.




    Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.




    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:



    1. Yes = No




    2. No = Yes






    3. Maybe = No



    4. We need = I want



    5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry




    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble




    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not



    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later



    9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!



    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?<!--[endif]-->







    MEN'S ENGLISH:






    1. I am hungry = I am hungry



    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy




    3. I am tired = I am tired



    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!



    5. I love you = Let's have sex now



    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?



    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.



    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.



    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.



    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
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