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The Good Old Days...
It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date.
He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?," he asks.
"That's cool" says Bobby. Carrie's father asks Bobby what are they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.
Carrie's father responds, "Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."
Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie's Dad to repeat it. "Yeah," says Carries father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!".
Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and immediately revised his plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go.
Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, screams at her father, and says...
"DAMMIT, DADDY! THE TWIST!! IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!"
> Facts Of Marriage...
> ===================
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
> - - - - - - - - - -
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
> - - - - - - - - - -
My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four coppers and a dog.
> - - - - - - - - - -
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
> - - - - - - - - - -
What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks.
> - - - - - - - - - -
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
> - - - - - - - - - -
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two Mother-in-law.
> - - - - - - - - - -
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
> - - - - - - - - - -
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
> - - - - - - - - - -
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
> - - - - - - - - - -
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
> - - - - - - - - - -
How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
> - - - - - - - - - -
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
> - - - - - - - - - -
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
> - - - - - - - - - -
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
> - - - - - - - - - -
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
> - - - - - - - - - -
The bumper sticker read: "I lost 250 pounds in one day, I divorced her."
> - - - - - - - - - -
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date.
He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?," he asks.
"That's cool" says Bobby. Carrie's father asks Bobby what are they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.
Carrie's father responds, "Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."
Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie's Dad to repeat it. "Yeah," says Carries father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!".
Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and immediately revised his plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go.
Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, screams at her father, and says...
"DAMMIT, DADDY! THE TWIST!! IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!"
> Facts Of Marriage...
> ===================
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
> - - - - - - - - - -
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
> - - - - - - - - - -
My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four coppers and a dog.
> - - - - - - - - - -
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
> - - - - - - - - - -
What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks.
> - - - - - - - - - -
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
> - - - - - - - - - -
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two Mother-in-law.
> - - - - - - - - - -
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
> - - - - - - - - - -
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
> - - - - - - - - - -
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
> - - - - - - - - - -
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
> - - - - - - - - - -
How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
> - - - - - - - - - -
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
> - - - - - - - - - -
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
> - - - - - - - - - -
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
> - - - - - - - - - -
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
> - - - - - - - - - -
The bumper sticker read: "I lost 250 pounds in one day, I divorced her."
> - - - - - - - - - -
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
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