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dont you just wonder?

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  • dont you just wonder?

    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
    Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
    Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
    Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
    Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is
    made with real lemons?
    Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
    Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
    Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
    Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
    Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
    indestructible black box?
    Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
    Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
    AND...
    In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
    stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
    On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only
    time I have to work on my hair).
    On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
    inside. (The shoplifter special?)
    On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that
    would be how???)
    On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a
    suggestion).
    On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
    (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (And
    you thought????...)
    On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't
    this save me more time?)
    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery
    after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
    construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
    colds off those forklifts.)
    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this
    because???)
    On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As
    opposed to...what?)
    On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (Now,
    somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
    On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". (Talk about a news flash!)
    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
    nuts". (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
    On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you
    to fly".
    On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
    genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

    enjoy 'I Hope'
    Tony
    Did I mention I have a BLUE one
    Tony

  • #2
    What about moths! They don't come out in the day light - only at night. Thing is when they come out at night if you turn on a light all they do is fly round the light. What's that all about!
    Constantly Striving to Attain Lower Standards

    Comment


    • #3
      all the moths that came out during the day flew into the sun
      it's in me shed, mate.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by fatfires
        Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
        Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
        Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
        Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
        Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
        Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
        Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is
        made with real lemons?
        Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
        Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
        Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
        Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
        Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
        Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
        indestructible black box?
        Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
        Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
        If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
        Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
        AND...
        In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
        stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
        On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only
        time I have to work on my hair).
        On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
        inside. (The shoplifter special?)
        On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that
        would be how???)
        On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a
        suggestion).
        On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
        (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
        On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (And
        you thought????...)
        On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't
        this save me more time?)
        On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery
        after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
        construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
        colds off those forklifts.)
        On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this
        because???)
        On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As
        opposed to...what?)
        On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (Now,
        somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
        On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". (Talk about a news flash!)
        On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
        nuts". (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
        On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you
        to fly".
        On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
        genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

        enjoy 'I Hope'
        Tony
        And on a packet of raisins.... "Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal"
        Tim
        Break It,Fix It,Repeat,Break It,Fix It,Repeat

        Comment


        • #5
          How come phonetic isn't spelt fonetic??
          Pete Davies
          www.superiorsound.co.uk

          "..this one goes to eleven"
          Nigel Tuffnell, Spinal Tap

          Comment

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