saturday morning.

[marky]

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At
the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out
when
they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a
faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually
alive. She lived for ten more years, and then dies peacefully. A
ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the
ceremony
the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are
walking,
the husband cries out," Watch that f****ng wall!"

[marky]

theres more

Secrets to a Happy Marriage
1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.
And MOST important....
4. It is important that these three women never meet

[marky]

typical woman

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned
to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Although
initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a compartment, the two
are
tired
and fall asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At
2:00 a.m., he leans over and gently wakes the woman, saying, "Ma'am,
I'm
sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet
to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea,"
she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own f***ing blanket."

[marky]

Most married couples mainly argue about two things, sex and money.
So agree the price before you start.


A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his wife when he's
pulled over by the Police. The police officer approaches him and asks
"Have you been drinking Sir?" Why?" asks the man, "Was I driving
badly?"
No", replies the Officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly
fat
bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious"