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  • Accident Report

    This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story!

    Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

    Dear Sir,

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found slightly in excess of 500lbs.

    Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

    Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.


    This explains the two broken legs.

    I hope this answers your inquiry
    .
    DUNNO'S BACK ..........He never really went away!

  • #2
    Originally posted by Dunno
    This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story!

    Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

    Dear Sir,

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found slightly in excess of 500lbs.

    Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

    Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.


    This explains the two broken legs.

    I hope this answers your inquiry
    .

    i couldnt beleave it the first time i read it so i read it again.....

    ya gotta feel sorry for the guy but it is funny!!!!!!!!
    CHEERS JOHN................

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by slim
      i couldnt beleave it the first time i read it so i read it again.....

      ya gotta feel sorry for the guy but it is funny!!!!!!!!
      I agree with ya, it sounds like something out of a Laurel and Hardy.!!!

      How the hell did he live to tell the tale???

      Comment


      • #4
        Sounds like a song by The Dubliners from their 1983 album Live in Carré.

        The song is called The Sick Note

        Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
        and at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight;
        my body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray
        and I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.

        While working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear;
        now, to throw them down from such a height was not a good idea.
        the foreman wasn't very pleased, he beeing an awkward sod
        he said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

        Now, clearing all these bricks by hand it was so very slow,
        so I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below.
        But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see
        that a barrelful of building bricks was heavier than me.

        So when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
        and clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead.
        Well, I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
        that halfway up I met the blo*dy barrel comming down.

        Well, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped,
        and when I reached the top I banged the pully with my head.
        Well, I clung on tight though numb with shock from this almighty blow
        and the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below.

        Now, when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
        I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more;
        still clinging tightly to the rope, I sped towards the ground,
        and I landed on the brocken bricks that were all scattered round.

        Well, I lay there groaning on the ground, I thougth I'd passed the worst,
        when the barrel hit the pully-wheel and then the bottom burst.
        Well, a shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
        as I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go the blo*dy rope.

        The barrel than being heavier, it started down once more,
        and landed right across me, as I lay upon the floor.
        Well, it broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
        that I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not a work today.
        Or you can listen to it here
        Last edited by Morr; 28 May 2005, 16:27.
        Maurice
        Hilux Surf FAQ at www.hiluxsurf.eu

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Morr
          Sounds like a song by The Dubliners from their 1983 album Live in Carré.

          The song is called The Sick Note



          Or you can listen to it here

          Sorry lads - you are all wrong. First done by Gerard Hoffnung at the Oxford Union, December 4th, 1958.

          You can download it from http://www.wrawby.org.uk/library/fun...on_Address.mp3 - if you really want to.

          kev
          Last edited by exmee46; 28 May 2005, 20:27.

          Comment

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