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I,the penis,hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1 i do physical labour
2 i work at great depths
3 i plunge headfirst into everything i do
4 i do not get weekends or public holidays off
5 i work in a damp enviroment
6 i dont get paid overtime
7 i work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8 i work in high temperatures
9 my work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1 you do not work 8 hours straight
2 you fall asleep on the jobafter brief work periods
3 you do not always follow the orders of the management team
4 you do not stay within your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
5 you do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
6 you leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7 you dont always observe necessary safety regulations such as wearing protective clothing
8 you will retire well before you are 65
9 you are unable to work double shifts
10 you sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all,you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags
Sincerely
The Management
1 i do physical labour
2 i work at great depths
3 i plunge headfirst into everything i do
4 i do not get weekends or public holidays off
5 i work in a damp enviroment
6 i dont get paid overtime
7 i work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8 i work in high temperatures
9 my work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1 you do not work 8 hours straight
2 you fall asleep on the jobafter brief work periods
3 you do not always follow the orders of the management team
4 you do not stay within your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
5 you do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
6 you leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7 you dont always observe necessary safety regulations such as wearing protective clothing
8 you will retire well before you are 65
9 you are unable to work double shifts
10 you sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all,you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags
Sincerely
The Management