Speeding etc

[heleneaustin]

A police officer pulls over a speeding surf.
The officer says, "i clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir"
The driver says, "Gee officer i had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: " Now don't be silly dear, you know this car doesnt have cruise control."

As the officer writes the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls "can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out a second ticket for the illegal radar detection unit. the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says "And i notice that you're not wearing a seat belt, sir. Thats an offence with an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, i had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that i could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didnt have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the policeman is writing the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking"