it's true.....honest

[Greebo]

"The problem was that we couldn't handcuff Mr Shallo because he didn't have any hands," Plainfield Police Chief Edward Santiago told reporters in New Jersey, "so we just put him on the back seat of the car and hoped he wouldn't be able to get out. The incident has certainly shown us that officers shouldn't underestimate handicapped people, because they can be far more resourceful than you'd ever suspect."Ernest Vincent Shallo, a thirty-year-old multiple amputee from Piscataway, escaped from an unmarked police car after being arrested for drug possession. "He has no hands or forearms, and only one leg, so we couldn't restrain him in the normal way. We thought he was helpless, but when our backs were turned, he slid over to the passenger door, used his appendages to open it, and hopped away real fast. We pursued him but he hopped over several fences and somehow escaped on a bicycle. We couldn't believe it. He can pedal with only one foot, and without touching the handlebars. I think the guy must have worked for a circus at some time".Shallo's neighbours confirmed this story. "Ernie rides a bike every day, though he can't use the brakes. I've even seen him carry washing machines on his back while on the bike. He fixed my lawnmower once. They say he can set his farts alight. I wouldn't put anything past him." (The Star-Ledger [Newark, New Jersey], 1/11/97. Spotter: Anita Daniel)

[Greebo]

This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?


The radio went silent and the interview ended.