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Things to learn from the movies

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  • Things to learn from the movies

    At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

    Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

    Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override alien society.

    It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out the predecessor.

    When you turn off the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

    If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

    All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

    All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of french bread.

    It is easy for anyone to land a plane provided there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

    Once applied, lipstick will never rub off, even while scuba diving.

    You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

    Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

    The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

    A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

    If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noise in their most revealing underwear.

    Even driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

    All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

    A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

    If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone you meet will know all the steps.
    [COLOR=Red][FONT=Century Gothic]the unexamined life is not worth living...[/FONT][/COLOR]

  • #2
    If two people declare their love and happiness to each other, one of them will die.
    Nige...............

    Anything you can do.......i

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    • #3
      anyone can jump into a big rig and drive it with no problems despite the 20 or so gears on different levels.
      2nd time unlucky with an import

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      • #4
        Originally posted by D-Piddy
        anyone can jump into a big rig and drive it with no problems despite the 20 or so gears on different levels.
        Having just watched "the grudge" I'd have to say:


        "DON'T OPEN THE WARDROBE"
        HOPE EVERYONE ELSE LIKED THE FILM TOO.............

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        • #5
          quality film! and Ive only seen the foreign version - Hollywoods one is supposed to be even better
          ...watch out in the shower
          Tim
          Break It,Fix It,Repeat,Break It,Fix It,Repeat

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          • #6
            all phone numbers start with 555
            nee nar nee nar, i'm a fire engine!

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            • #7
              If your part of a space crew and your given a red tunic, your gonna die within the next 25 minutes!
              Lifes for smileing at! when ya Surf's not broke!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by TimberSurf
                If your part of a space crew and your given a red tunic, your gonna die within the next 25 minutes!
                except rimmer!... get me specs....

                in series vi he wore red, which was changed to blue to signify that he was now hard light, not soft light, as previous!

                hehehe!!..

                what a frickin speccy !!!! i am!
                nee nar nee nar, i'm a fire engine!

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                • #9
                  oh, and on original star trek, doesn't the doctor wear red?... and lietenant uhura?

                  and on next gen, ryker wears red?


                  damn... given the game away!... everyone thought i sat at home !!!!ing all day!
                  nee nar nee nar, i'm a fire engine!

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                  • #10
                    If you tell anyone what your plans are after the war, you're lucky to see the next five minutes.

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                    • #11
                      if you shoot the alien/bad guy and it/he falls over straight away, keep shooting untill you run out of bullets then get more and shoot it again or it will get up and kill you
                      Diesel, like petrol only better

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                      • #12
                        If you crash your car it will explode.

                        That rickety bridge WILL give way.
                        Charlie Don't Surf..http://static.photobox.co.uk/public/...10805138.s.jpg

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                        • #13
                          when you discover the baddy, and there's no one else around, just before you turn your back to him, you must always tell the bad guy exactly what you're going to do even though he's got a gun and is standing over a dead body while you have nothing more dangerous than thin air.


                          In a scary situation, you must always split up and explore on your own.

                          this is doubly sure if a female and wearing scanty clothing and when running, you must lie down and say you've twisted your ankle
                          Dave

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                          • #14
                            if you jump a gap, no matter how big you will make it. just. unless you are gandalf
                            it's in me shed, mate.

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                            • #15
                              If you are female and get bitten by a vampire, no matter what you are wearing, next time we see you you will be in a see-through negligee

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