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Do they know it's Christmas time?
****************************** **********
It's Christmas time, and to help with the renewed band aid record, U2
have lined up a series of enormous charity gigs.
They get together on the day of the first gig to soundcheck and Bono notices
that The Edge is looking a bit peaky.
"What's the matter The Edge?" he says.
"Ah look it's nothing Bono" says the guitarist, "It's just - you know that
Japanese promotional tour we did last week, right? I think I picked up
something, it might be some kind of flu, I'm feeling pretty bad."
"Well, The Edge," replies Bono, "if you want to pull out of the gigs you
just say so."
Edge shakes his head. "No, no, no way Bono. These gigs are important to me -
I've got to think of the children, not my aching guts."
"That's the spirit The Edge", says Bono, and so that night they take the
stage. They play all the hits and the crowd are loving it. For a big climax,
because it's for charity, they're going to perform "Do They Know It's
Christmas?", but as they get going on the song Edge suddenly feels very ill
indeed, and he turns, drops his guitar and sprints towards the back of the
stage. But he doesn't quite make it and he throws up, all over Larry Mullen
Jr. and his drumkit.
"Jaysis The Edge!" yells Larry, "Those are brand new drums! What the hell
are you doing?"
Poor Edge is mortified. "Aw Larry, I - I - I couldn't help myself, I'm so
sorry, it's this flu."
Bono calls a band meeting after the gig. "The Edge, that was disgusting, I
don't think you should be playing tomorrow night, you know, you're not
well."
"No, Bono, it won't happen again, honestly, I'm so sorry - and you know, the
show must go on."
So Bono agrees and when the gig kicks off the next night Edge is up there on
stage, riffing away. The gig's going really well, no problems, but then as
"Do They Know It's Christmas" starts Edge begins to feel sick. He
desperately tries to hold it down but it's no good, and makes a dash for the
side of the stage, only getting as far as Adam Clayton, who he vomits over.
Copiously.
"Me best leather waistcoat!" howls Adam Clayton, "The Edge you're more beast
than man!"
Edge is white as a sheet. "Oh no, Adam, I'm sorry, I couldn't be more
sorry."
Bono is furious after the gig. "The Edge you've gone too far this time,
you've ruined another gig. I've just been on the phone to Sting, he can fill
in tomorrow, you've got to rest up."
Edge is almost in tears, "Please Bono no, this gig means so much to me, I
know I've got it all out my system now, I'll be great tomorrow I promise,
you have to let me play."
"OK The Edge one last chance, but if there's any more antics like the last
two nights then that's it, the end, you're out of U2."
The next day Edge takes lots of vitamins and he's feeling fine. The gig
starts and it's amazing, the best U2 gig ever, even "Discotheque" sounds
alright. Bono's really pleased, Edge is happy. They start "Do They Know It's
Christmas" and Bono moves over to stand shoulder to shoulder with his buddy
and realy belt the tune out. Suddenly Edge doesn't feel too good. His face
is contorting, he's struggling like mad but it's no use - he turns to Bono
with a look of desperation and suddenly hacks up an enormous greenie right
in Bono's face.
The song stops. Edge is paralysed with horror - "Bono I can explain, I'm
truly sorry, you can't believe how sorry I am."
Bono wipes the snot off, turns to Edge, and says
"Well, tonight thank God it's phlegm instead of spew."
****************************** **********
It's Christmas time, and to help with the renewed band aid record, U2
have lined up a series of enormous charity gigs.
They get together on the day of the first gig to soundcheck and Bono notices
that The Edge is looking a bit peaky.
"What's the matter The Edge?" he says.
"Ah look it's nothing Bono" says the guitarist, "It's just - you know that
Japanese promotional tour we did last week, right? I think I picked up
something, it might be some kind of flu, I'm feeling pretty bad."
"Well, The Edge," replies Bono, "if you want to pull out of the gigs you
just say so."
Edge shakes his head. "No, no, no way Bono. These gigs are important to me -
I've got to think of the children, not my aching guts."
"That's the spirit The Edge", says Bono, and so that night they take the
stage. They play all the hits and the crowd are loving it. For a big climax,
because it's for charity, they're going to perform "Do They Know It's
Christmas?", but as they get going on the song Edge suddenly feels very ill
indeed, and he turns, drops his guitar and sprints towards the back of the
stage. But he doesn't quite make it and he throws up, all over Larry Mullen
Jr. and his drumkit.
"Jaysis The Edge!" yells Larry, "Those are brand new drums! What the hell
are you doing?"
Poor Edge is mortified. "Aw Larry, I - I - I couldn't help myself, I'm so
sorry, it's this flu."
Bono calls a band meeting after the gig. "The Edge, that was disgusting, I
don't think you should be playing tomorrow night, you know, you're not
well."
"No, Bono, it won't happen again, honestly, I'm so sorry - and you know, the
show must go on."
So Bono agrees and when the gig kicks off the next night Edge is up there on
stage, riffing away. The gig's going really well, no problems, but then as
"Do They Know It's Christmas" starts Edge begins to feel sick. He
desperately tries to hold it down but it's no good, and makes a dash for the
side of the stage, only getting as far as Adam Clayton, who he vomits over.
Copiously.
"Me best leather waistcoat!" howls Adam Clayton, "The Edge you're more beast
than man!"
Edge is white as a sheet. "Oh no, Adam, I'm sorry, I couldn't be more
sorry."
Bono is furious after the gig. "The Edge you've gone too far this time,
you've ruined another gig. I've just been on the phone to Sting, he can fill
in tomorrow, you've got to rest up."
Edge is almost in tears, "Please Bono no, this gig means so much to me, I
know I've got it all out my system now, I'll be great tomorrow I promise,
you have to let me play."
"OK The Edge one last chance, but if there's any more antics like the last
two nights then that's it, the end, you're out of U2."
The next day Edge takes lots of vitamins and he's feeling fine. The gig
starts and it's amazing, the best U2 gig ever, even "Discotheque" sounds
alright. Bono's really pleased, Edge is happy. They start "Do They Know It's
Christmas" and Bono moves over to stand shoulder to shoulder with his buddy
and realy belt the tune out. Suddenly Edge doesn't feel too good. His face
is contorting, he's struggling like mad but it's no use - he turns to Bono
with a look of desperation and suddenly hacks up an enormous greenie right
in Bono's face.
The song stops. Edge is paralysed with horror - "Bono I can explain, I'm
truly sorry, you can't believe how sorry I am."
Bono wipes the snot off, turns to Edge, and says
"Well, tonight thank God it's phlegm instead of spew."
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