100 yen...!

[Apache]

I gave mrs GWH weedkiller to drink, and she didn't notice.
She failed to see the fungicide.

Grandad's been very ill. Grandma smeared his back with grease. After that, he went downhill fast...

[gwh200]

only when I'm drunk or on the phone..

How about when your eating a foot long, and drinking coffee. Steering with your knees is fine.

[Predictable Bob]

Eating a foot long what exactly Gra ???

Is he one of Wodderwicks friends ?

[puddlesurfer]

This morning on the Motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mini doing 70 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back, she was
halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup!

As a man, I don’t scare easily. But she scared me so much;
I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against
the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear, which then fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned me, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Darn women drivers

[HONEST AL]

Foot long(I should be so lucky)

How about when your eating a foot long, and drinking coffee. Steering with your knees is fine.

As the man said Graham,a foot long what ??????

[diddypony]

This morning on the Motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mini doing 70 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back, she was
halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup!

As a man, I don’t scare easily. But she scared me so much;
I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against
the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear, which then fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned me, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Darn women drivers

..And people have a go at me just coz the cat likes to sleep on the dash'...he just likes to slide across when we go around roundabouts..OK!!

[puddlesurfer]

..And people have a go at me just coz the cat likes to sleep on the dash'...he just likes to slide across when we go around roundabouts..OK!!

Saves dusting the dash, I don't have a cat - my dash is filthy!

[Twisted Instigator]

..And people have a go at me just coz the cat likes to sleep on the dash'...he just likes to slide across when we go around roundabouts..OK!!

Saves dusting the dash, I don't have a cat - my dash is filthy!

Isn't that what underwear is for??

[gwh200]

Eating a foot long what exactly Gra ???

Is he one of Wodderwicks friends ?

Could be...

As the man said Graham,a foot long what ??????

Well blow me (ooh err) down..the double entendre.

A foot long sub, maybe !

[diddypony]

Isn't that what underwear is for??

Tends to leave streaks on the glass though..

[HONEST AL]

Wodderwick

Eating a foot long what exactly Gra ???

Is he one of Wodderwicks friends ?

Bob,who is this guy Wodderwick,not on here much is he ???

[childishlysimple]

That's because he got weleased!

[Predictable Bob]

Wodders sold his Surf a while back but drops in for some abuse now and then ...

[HONEST AL]

Dooooble entendre

Well blow me (ooh err) down..the double entendre.

A foot long sub, maybe !

If I had known it was a dooble entendre I would have whipped it out there and then,quick as a flash,so there .
I know my limits,Alan