start the week with a smile - i hope

[RobD]

Some of the nearly made its
King Harold
Watch out youll have someones f___ing eye out with that.

Admiral Lord Nelson
Relax Hardy they will never f___ing hit us from there

Chairman of B.M.W
Send them by boat it will be miles f___ing cheaper

Evander Holyfield
C'mon then Tyson right f___ing ear right now

Some more nearlies

Marc Bolan
watch out for tha f____ing tree

That bird outa casualty (her name escapes me)
of course I can f____ing fly

[marky]

rob have you got any for f___ing women

[RobD]

rob have you got any for f___ing women

C above

[marky]

what do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?


look ive warned you twice dont borrow my surf again

[colincd]

what do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?


look ive warned you twice dont borrow my surf again

Now that IS Funny

[Rob]

An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices something about the wellies the Irish guy's wearing. She says to him "Scuse me mate, I ain't being funny or nuffink, but why does one of your wellies have an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it ?" So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his pint of Guinness and replies "Well, oim a bit tick you see. The one with the R is for me roight foot and the one with the L is for me left foot". "Cor blimey!", exclaims the Essex girl, "So that's why me knickers 'ave got C & A on them".

[marky]

good one that

[colincd]

Ho Yes, we are on a roll tonight

[RobD]

What have women and dog poo got in common?

the older they get,the easier they r to pick up!

[marky]

switch that bloody tiger off

[Ems and Jim]

theres not enough women on here !!!!!!!!!!!!

come on girls where are you ????

these jokes are a little on the sexist side


but we love you all really


Ems

[RobD]

Sorry ladies

[marky]

moooo

[super8simon]

This one cheered me up seeing as my Surf is poorly and back in the garage at the moment...1991 2.4...can you guess whats wrong!?!


A guy and his wife are awakened at three in the morning by some drunk
pounding on their door and shouting.
The man gets out of bed, puts on his clothes and answers the door. The
drunk, who can hardly speak and is standing in the pouring, cold rain,
says "Come help me. I need a push."

The man says, "No way! It's pouring rain and three in the morning". And
then he slams the door and returns to bed.

The wife says "Who was that?" and he replies "Just some guy asking for a
push." She says "Well, did you help him out? " The man says "Hell no. It's
Three AM and pouring rain out there!!"

His wife says "Well, you certainly have a short memory. Remember last week
when we were stalled by the road and needed a push and those two lads
stopped and helped us? It was pouring rain then, too. I think you should
be ashamed of yourself and go help him."

So the guy gets out of bed and puts on his clothes to go do what his wife
told him to do. He goes out into the pounding rain which has even gotten
worse over the last few minutes and calls out "Hello, are you still
there?" Then he looks around the yard, the rain drenching him but he
doesn't see the guy anymore. One last time he calls out "Are you out
there? " and a voice calls back "Yes" and he calls out "Do you still need
a push?" By now he is soaked and freezing. The drunk calls out "Yes,
please!" from out of the darkness. The man shouts "Well, where the hell
ARE you?" And the drunk calls back from the dark corner of the yard,

"Over here, on the swing!"

Simon

[RobD]

Good one