Rustinho

[JUDWAK]

From my experience of Brighton & Bournemouth (Canford cliffs area I think!) there is a fair bit of shirt lifting going on. Lots of blokes with strange moustaches and bicycles at all hours of the night...!

I was a bit worried when I walked back from the beach to a mate's house in the middle of the night. (Long story!)

what ya mean
Lots of blokes with strange moustaches and bicycles at all hours of the night?
is that a hint?

long story?
do tell
i bet it takes me longer to read it

[Rustinho]

To cut the long story short I used to have quite a few friends that lived in Brighton, hence how I've experienced (ahem) that scene... Not your kinda stuff I'd guess but I know one of the members of The Meow Meows (ska band).

http://www.myspace.com/themeowmeowsband

As for Bournemouth, I was staying at a friends gaff for a party there and a group of us decided it would be nice to wander down to the beach. Everyone else seemed to be all loved up in couples apart from me (being the lonely single chap that I was at the time!) so when we were walking back to the house I got separated from everyone else who were stopping for a fondle in the bushes (fnar fnar!) etc.

I actually got quite worried at the amount of blokes who were blatently "cottaging" - found it quite intimidating. I'm all for folks having alternative lifestyles & all that but it really ain't for me!

Then I couldn't find my way back to the house and had a bit of a minor panic until I worked out where I was...

Incidentally, it was later that night that I drove to another mates house (I was teetotal at the time so the party wasn't a worry) and (once again!) got lost. I pulled over at the side of the road to check my A-Z street map to try & find my way.

While I was at the side of the road looking at my map a scantily clad middle aged woman climbed into the car in tears saying that she was lost.

"Me too" I said gesturing at the map!

She didn't know where she was going to cos she was just with a group of mates and wasn't from the area (and couldn't remember the address she was going to) so I took her to the local police station to let them deal with the drunk, tearful woman that had lost her mates on a hen night.

And thus the potted versions of the stories of Brighton & Bournemouth were revealed...

[JUDWAK]

you said it was a long story?

i walked in to a cafe in soho i had been in all week but that was on days
we was shifted to nights
i went to the same cafe walked in
first thing i thought was this looks new
still a cafe tho
i was thinking to my self while eating
every body is realy friendly in here at night ?

i kept seeing people strange looking people tho going down a corridoor and disaper
so after i had eaten i went to look down this corridoor
bare in mind i have a tash and quiff and a vizzy jactet on that said ''porn tash'' across the back
i walked through some tasels hung over a door way sright into a gay porn shop
i acted cool tho walked around and went
i got back to work all the lads were saying '' were you been for owt to eat juddy''
i just replyed ''24 hour garage down the road''

iam sure i pulled too