What should i do guys? I'm seriously worried

[B16mts]

Hi all

I really do need your advice on what could be a crucial decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs. The phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife
has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their
names she always says, "Just some friends from work. You don't know them."

I sometimes stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always
comes walking up the drive as I hear the sound of a car leaving, around the corner, as if shes got out and walked the rest of the way. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi at all?

I once picked up her mobile phone, just to see what time it was. This caused her to go completely berserk. She quickly snatched the phone out of my hand and cursed me hysterically, screaming that I should never touch her
personal property. She then accused me of trying to spy on her !

Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down,
I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and
I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my surf next to the
garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the street around the corner when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my truck that I noticed a scratch on my wheel arch that had been badly touched up...



So, is this something I can easily repair myself or do you think I should take it to a specialist ?

[POPEYE]

Thats odd! the same thing happened to Bushwacker,
same advice, deal with the scratch, they can be serious

[Woodzie]

If i remeber correctly vince touched up the scratch properly

[BUSHWHACKER]

hehehe!!

[B16mts]

Thats odd! the same thing happened to Bushwacker,

bugger, i'll get me coat

[angusglover]

This is one that is very similar but I like it...

Dear Audrey:

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during
Our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you
left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.
Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt.
And this is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Audrey."
I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but
they're not you. They're not even close.

Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingoes and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Audrey? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I Don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking,
"Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless
technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else.
Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Audrey, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Audrey, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at Pontins last year?
Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said
she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around.
I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real
story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Audrey ever put the mirror on the floor?
We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used
It as a sex aid." Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Audrey, She really is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing and that
gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about
trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you?
It's true, Audrey. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we
Could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh?
I think we can. If you feel the same please please please let me
know, otherwise, can you let me know where the Sky remote control is.

[The Mechanic]

Get a life....

Instead of the wife going out you clear off out first, don't say where you're going and come back in the wee small hours...whistling is good...looking smug and pleased with yourself is also good. Tell your wife you love her kiss her on the (where ever you fancy) and go into a deep sleep (hide all the kitchen knives for peace of mind). Now tell her you need a pass for at least 2-3 days so you can go off to Spain with a few 'mates' to play golf, or better still off - roading.

This should cock up her plans for a 'bit'.

As for the scratch, book it into the body shop for while you are away in Spain.

Oh **ck the expense at least your spending your money on yourself and not letting some $$$$ant enjoy himself at your expense.

Mind you it could be the bodyshop guy thats knocking your beloved off
What ever happens if it comes to divorce.....KEEP THE CAR

[B16mts]

So How long do we think before this post gets pulled for not being suitable for a "family" audiance? personally i thought it was $$$$ funny!!!

Mart

This is one that is very similar but I like it...

Dear Audrey:

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during
Our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you
left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.
Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt.
And this is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Audrey."
I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but
they're not you. They're not even close.

Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingoes and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Audrey? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I Don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking,
"Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless
technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else.
Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Audrey, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Audrey, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at Pontins last year?
Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said
she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around.
I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real
story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Audrey ever put the mirror on the floor?
We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used
It as a sex aid." Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Audrey, She really is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing and that
gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about
trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you?
It's true, Audrey. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we
Could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh?
I think we can. If you feel the same please please please let me
know, otherwise, can you let me know where the Sky remote control is.

[mrsurf]

ha ha ha good one farm boy lol

[POPEYE]

Bl00dy hell angus, is that whats in those Daniel Steel books, no wonder women like em, Felt a stirring in me loins, first one since the old king died

[angusglover]

Who is Danielle Steel? lololol

I did chuckle when I read it so thought I would share it with you guys...lol