Wasn't that the silliest thing

[ssrx]

This is a true story from my days as an insurance broker.

2 Irish blokes (genuinely Irish) working nights in a local foundry decide to change the fuel tank on one of their cars. They duly drained the tank and disposed of the fuel but to make sure it was empty one decides to strike a match and use it to look down the filler pipe. Well after the explosion, the attendance of a number of emergency services and third degree burns to both of them, they were both sacked.

Cost the insurance company a small fortune

[mark g8awo]

Wasn't that the silliest thing

Whilst watch paddy dig a hole outside work one day he was in the hole with his pick axe trying to make head way when he hit the water main. Not the small feed to domestic outlets but the 15inch main and the water spout went straight up his trouser leg as he scuttled out of the hole.......

Also i was coming through the barbican in the pallet taxi and the traffic was at the usual snail pace, we came across the reason for this a 60 ft water spout in the middle of the street, now i had a van boy with me at the time and he was not a small lad to say the least. As we crawled past the spout suddenly became aware he was trying to sit on my lap as the water from the spout was landing on the roof of the truck he had not closed his window... As we crept passed plod further down the road he was curious to why we were laughing so much so i told him which made his day......

[da SLUG man]

i've got a thing about bangong my haed on stuff!
the other week i opened the door of the surf straight into my fore head giving myself a nasty gash!

the best was at my mates house (which is an old building with low doors) getting excited and jumping up and down.... cracked my head on the door frame giving myself a 2" gash on the head... went outside and luckily an ambulance was stopped outside the chip shop, so i asked them for a plaster but on closer inspection the medic bird could see my skull and recommended stitches so i didn't ruin their dinner i drove myself to hospital.

[Robster]

No Surfs, cracked heads or even engines involved....

...bought some new jeans yesterday. Took 'em out of the bag this morning, removed all the little paper labels and put 'em on. Discovered that the girl in the shop had left the big plastic security tag attached to the pocket. Dunno why the alarm didn't go off when I left the shop mind you.

It was early and I was tired and I decided I really needed to wear them today and set about the tag with various household implements. Wouldn't shift. Became increasingly frustrated as time went by and I looked like being late for work. Had one final go at it with a screwdriver which slipped and went right through the pocket leaving a sizeable hole and the tag still intact and in place!

So now I'm in a slight quandry. Do I have a proper go at it tonight with my "Junior Hacksaw" and put up with the hole, or go back to the shop and try and explain what happened and hope they don't notice the damaged tag and hole in the pocket?! Mind you they might just remove the tag and give me back the same pair with the hole in! Oh dear...

[Koi]

loaded up Surf Thursday with a bed base and mattress, tight fit but got it in just. I know what your thinking but no I made sure the front seats would move forward enough so I could still lift the handle to release the tailgate (unlike someone else, thanks cause it reminded me not to close it first).
No having checked that I moved it all back so it just fitted in slammed the tailgate up and trapped fingers between bed base and tailgate. Ouch yes, I said oh damn, mmmm it was that tight I couldn't get my fingers out or lift the handle. So theres me on my own stuck like a right plonker in some discomfort. After about five minutes luckily a neighbour passed and moved front seats forward. Hmmm not one to repeat in a hurry.

[Koi]

Got me self a ney key cut, old one looking a bit worn and becoming a bit dodgy in the lock.
Strolls in to market can you cut this please, sure. Key gets cut, lovely looking shiney new key takes old key off ring and tells them chuck it in the bin (its ok I know them on the stall, so he says I'll cut it in half for you, thanks) and off i go.
Finish me shopping goes back to car park top floor, gets key out put it the door lock whaaaaaaaat it don't fit, the shoulders are to large.
Runs back to the market at the speed of light, wheres me old key erm erm there in the vice just about to cut it in half, no don't the new one dont fit.
Lets have a look at the new one and i'll compare them he says, rummages in pocket, can't find it hmmmm sure it was in here. Takes old key and legs it back up to motor and there hanging in the door is my keys, Surf, house, work, fishing premises, lock ups the lot.
Thats what you get for leaving the christmas shopping to the l;ast minute.

[pops]

Got me self a ney key cut, old one looking a bit worn and becoming a bit dodgy in the lock.
Strolls in to market can you cut this please, sure. Key gets cut, lovely looking shiney new key takes old key off ring and tells them chuck it in the bin (its ok I know them on the stall, so he says I'll cut it in half for you, thanks) and off i go.
Finish me shopping goes back to car park top floor, gets key out put it the door lock whaaaaaaaat it don't fit, the shoulders are to large.
Runs back to the market at the speed of light, wheres me old key erm erm there in the vice just about to cut it in half, no don't the new one dont fit.
Lets have a look at the new one and i'll compare them he says, rummages in pocket, can't find it hmmmm sure it was in here. Takes old key and legs it back up to motor and there hanging in the door is my keys, Surf, house, work, fishing premises, lock ups the lot.
Thats what you get for leaving the christmas shopping to the l;ast minute.

you muppet LUCKY muppet thank christ

[Linda]

After a busy day I came tonite home looking forward to a nice quiet evening with a few new DVD's, and a glass of wine or two... Before settling down I opened the bird cage to let the cockatiel have a fly round... then snuggle up on the sofa and start the DVD.

Suddenly the lounge door opens, scaring the cockatiel who flies into mirror over the fire, slides down on top of a fresh vase of flowers knocking it off the mantlepiece and spilling all the water directly onto the TV. The cockatiel ends up behind the TV with a vase on top of her and the TV explodes in a puff of smoke...

The upside is that tomorrow I can go shopping for a new TV...

[pops]

After a busy day I came tonite home looking forward to a nice quiet evening with a few new DVD's, and a glass of wine or two... Before settling down I opened the bird cage to let the cockatiel have a fly round... then snuggle up on the sofa and start the DVD.

Suddenly the lounge door opens, scaring the cockatiel who flies into mirror over the fire, slides down on top of a fresh vase of flowers knocking it off the mantlepiece and spilling all the water directly onto the TV. The cockatiel ends up behind the TV with a vase on top of her and the TV explodes in a puff of smoke...

The upside is that tomorrow I can go shopping for a new TV...

LENGTHS somepeople go to just to go shopping [cant you claim on insurance linda]
tell us which DVD your were going to watch and we can tell you if its any good. [ the butler did it] NO THE ****** BIRD DID

[kitesurf_phil]

My lock-up garage is in the close behind our house - about 100 yds to walk. I had double- checked my squeeling power steering belt and found the whole unit was slightly loose. I could lever it and adjust the tension without loosening the bolt.
I trot round to the house, in the front door, unlock the back door, up the garden, unlock the shed, find my socket set, in the back door, out the front door, round to the garage, pop the bonnet, fit socket onto ratchet and there's not enough space between the pully and the pump to get the socket on. So,........back to shed for 14mm spanner..........back to car. Put spanner onto bolt, spanner slips and lands on top of aircon rad..........just out of reach. Onto the dirty floor, roll under truck, reach up for spanner and realise I have my good fleece jacket on.
I find that using the socket extension as a lever is no good and go round the back of the truck. I unroll the standard Toyota tool kit and out drops a 14mm spanner. Also in the tool roll is a tyre lever, which was perfect for levering the power steering pump to get the tension right!
Ah well, there is no more judder on full lock - Anyway, I needed the exercise after all the Xmas goodies.

[Mrs B]

Have just picked my self up from the floor,your storys were so funny.
We used to have an old purple Lada Niva (beaten to hell) and allways carried a powder fire extinguisher, both boys were in car seats at the time with the youngest being about 6months and dozing. Thought id be a bit lazy and pop the dog to the local field for a run and leave the boys strapped in (oldest was about 4) seats in the car....
Cant have been gone for more than 5 mins came back to ALL serfices in the car covered in a white powder and a cocky 4 yr old saying ''i didnt do it, Ki woke up set the fire thingy of then went back to sleep'' ''he's a bad boy mummy'' but the fire extinguisher was still between his legs...totally busted !!!
he's now a 21 yr old and cringes wen i tell this story

[JUDWAK]

funny thread tiz old one too
siilest thing i have ever done was try to blow the school up
i was only 13 at the time
i thought it was a good idea to blow up the school
so i smashed every window set fire to chairs and tables
then i smashed the gas boiler up the gas got the better of me before i could light it
i was on under the influence of a mind bending drug at the time LSD so it seemed a good idea at the time
i payed for all the damage it did cost me my life saving back then
i had a bit too much lsd tho and had a guy with a long beard and 7 cats following me for 2 days
you try acting normal while seeing that
police interview was hard to keep a stright face my mum was alive then and she hammed me for what i did
i was banned from school property and fined just over 5 grand
and i was grounded for a year
iam still banned from any school property in soulth yorkshire
not that any one would remember to enforce it but they said in court that it would stick with me when i got older and had kids of my own
but i dont have any kids
well thats one silly thing i did that iam not proud of
but
i have lots more

[Black Sheep]

When I got my previous surf back in March I went to spectate at a land Rover club RTV and took my spaniel along in the back. When the club broke for lunch I joined them at the top of the hill they were parked on with the surf making it up no problem after a few disco's had got stuck. A few members were waiting for me to get stuck and as it was also my first time off road in the surf I had a big cheesy grin on my face when it crested the top with me giving them finger.
I left them in the afternoon and drove the surf over the edge of the hill. Unfortunatly I had put it in drive and not selected 1 not being used to an auto. The surf careered down the hill and I could see the spaniel flying around in the back in the mirror. I fortunatly managed to keep it straight and reached the bottom in 1 piece but to howls of laughter. I'm still getting asked if the spaniel has recovered lol

All the best

Ross

[yoshie]

7yr old post, jeeze you must have been bored.

[Koi]

7yr old post, jeeze you must have been bored.

just a newbie with lots of catching up to do