On returning from a pheasant shoot today on the other side of the hill, I had left the quad bike in one of the fields so I could ride it back home instead of driving as I had planned on having a festive drink with the shoot boys. Well, later on it was pitch black and foggy and I couldn't find the bl**dy bike.
Staggering about looking for it, I tripped over something (which I soon found out was barbed wire). By this time I had started to roll down the hill and the wire came with me. I then splashed into the muddy water in the ditch (1ft deep) trussed up like a turkey with the barbed wire.
Struggling to my feet, I quickly discovered that it was the place where the cows come down to drink, so not only was I wet and muddy, I was also covered in cow cr*p!
I still couldn't find the quad bike so I thought I might as well walk home. At home I started to take my stinking clothes off in the porch. Was just down to my undies and one sock when the door opened and my son and his friends filed past on their way to the pub. My son just managed to hold it together long enough to say 'good shoot then Mum?'
I doubt if I can show my face down the village this side of Christmas.
.......................
Jacqueline
Staggering about looking for it, I tripped over something (which I soon found out was barbed wire). By this time I had started to roll down the hill and the wire came with me. I then splashed into the muddy water in the ditch (1ft deep) trussed up like a turkey with the barbed wire.
Struggling to my feet, I quickly discovered that it was the place where the cows come down to drink, so not only was I wet and muddy, I was also covered in cow cr*p!
I still couldn't find the quad bike so I thought I might as well walk home. At home I started to take my stinking clothes off in the porch. Was just down to my undies and one sock when the door opened and my son and his friends filed past on their way to the pub. My son just managed to hold it together long enough to say 'good shoot then Mum?'
I doubt if I can show my face down the village this side of Christmas.
.......................
Jacqueline
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