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Rattle Rattle Black Smoke Chuff Chuff Bang
Hi folks 
im new here just like to had little advice but im sure someone has came across this god dam silly joke
.I have had a really bad fuel leak on my 2.4l surf, the leak was coming from the back so as you do popped over to milners 4x4 to buy new timing belt and fuel pump o/ring seals and a fuel filter.The bill came to £29.00 anyway time to get the spanners out i drove my motor on to some ramps as my drive runs down hill so it made the motor nice and level, luckily I removed the bash plate underneath and luckly my aircon as run out so i managed to remove cooling rad and fans then i gave it a right good steam clean as you all prob know it makes a f**king right mess, then it was time for removing some skin and gaining some f**king cuts and sores, I stripped fan pipes belts and then i got stuck with the 19mm crank bolt so i thought of taking starter motor off to jam a screwdriver in flywheel to crack the bolt as my surf is auto. then came up with a better option i found a plastic cover hidding flywheel were the torque converter underneath on transmission box ,then found 14mm bolts on flywheel so i manage to place a socket and straight bar on one of the nuts and trap it against the casing ,I laid underneath with a straight bar and 19mm on the crank bolt with a big tug and a half it crack loose at last ###### tight ass thing it was 
. Then i carryed on stripping time belt cover to discover diesel all over timing belt and sprockets the belt felt like soft jelly my guts sank as me and my family just done over 280 miles drive time for steam cleaner again after a good clean, I placed two 13mm bolts in the threads to wedge the fuel pump sprocket to crack the 19mm bolt ,then taped the sprocket and removed it then i started remove all the pipes and wiring to pump and then remove the two p**sing stupid 12mm bolts, oh and the ones holding a bracket at the back of the pump at last i can try and pull bend juggle and dance and the pump is out at last 
.Then i stripped the fuel pump 
are these springs and washers and shaft suppose to drop out 
, well luckily 2 hours later the o rings and seals and parts are back together 
,anyway I built everything back up in the same order as I removed them got all the fuel pump timing marks lined up cool and the gang all primed up ready to for start up. Here goes my hand was shaking i swiped the key fob and placed keys in the ignition and turned it over it started yeahhhhhh ohhhhh noooooo its rattling like f**k and there s**t loads of black smoke and i mean loads of black f**king smoke ,so i tryed a little gas ###### hell more miss bang smoke bang miss rattle fire, what the f**k have i done some ###### head scratching going on here so i started the p**sing f**kin b**t**d strip down again checked all timing marks and fuel pump mark on side next to 12mm bolt there were all spot on so what next can i do, so i looked at a fuel pump diagram to see if i can work out what i have done wrong can`t see anything wrong then it accurred to me that those springs and washers and the drive that controls the injectors firing order was the f**king wrong way round took some finding out but i got there in the end .Then after all the p**sing about i started my motor again and she runs like a dream and theres only a slight bit of smoke on start up 
I do apologise if i have stretched this story out but i thought you folks would like a laugh and learn from it with regards
spike
im new here just like to had little advice but im sure someone has came across this god dam silly joke
.I have had a really bad fuel leak on my 2.4l surf, the leak was coming from the back so as you do popped over to milners 4x4 to buy new timing belt and fuel pump o/ring seals and a fuel filter.The bill came to £29.00 anyway time to get the spanners out i drove my motor on to some ramps as my drive runs down hill so it made the motor nice and level, luckily I removed the bash plate underneath and luckly my aircon as run out so i managed to remove cooling rad and fans then i gave it a right good steam clean as you all prob know it makes a f**king right mess, then it was time for removing some skin and gaining some f**king cuts and sores, I stripped fan pipes belts and then i got stuck with the 19mm crank bolt so i thought of taking starter motor off to jam a screwdriver in flywheel to crack the bolt as my surf is auto. then came up with a better option i found a plastic cover hidding flywheel were the torque converter underneath on transmission box ,then found 14mm bolts on flywheel so i manage to place a socket and straight bar on one of the nuts and trap it against the casing ,I laid underneath with a straight bar and 19mm on the crank bolt with a big tug and a half it crack loose at last ###### tight ass thing it was . Then i carryed on stripping time belt cover to discover diesel all over timing belt and sprockets the belt felt like soft jelly my guts sank as me and my family just done over 280 miles drive time for steam cleaner again after a good clean, I placed two 13mm bolts in the threads to wedge the fuel pump sprocket to crack the 19mm bolt ,then taped the sprocket and removed it then i started remove all the pipes and wiring to pump and then remove the two p**sing stupid 12mm bolts, oh and the ones holding a bracket at the back of the pump at last i can try and pull bend juggle and dance and the pump is out at last .Then i stripped the fuel pump are these springs and washers and shaft suppose to drop out , well luckily 2 hours later the o rings and seals and parts are back together ,anyway I built everything back up in the same order as I removed them got all the fuel pump timing marks lined up cool and the gang all primed up ready to for start up. Here goes my hand was shaking i swiped the key fob and placed keys in the ignition and turned it over it started yeahhhhhh ohhhhh noooooo its rattling like f**k and there s**t loads of black smoke and i mean loads of black f**king smoke ,so i tryed a little gas ###### hell more miss bang smoke bang miss rattle fire, what the f**k have i done some ###### head scratching going on here so i started the p**sing f**kin b**t**d strip down again checked all timing marks and fuel pump mark on side next to 12mm bolt there were all spot on so what next can i do, so i looked at a fuel pump diagram to see if i can work out what i have done wrong can`t see anything wrong then it accurred to me that those springs and washers and the drive that controls the injectors firing order was the f**king wrong way round took some finding out but i got there in the end .Then after all the p**sing about i started my motor again and she runs like a dream and theres only a slight bit of smoke on start up I do apologise if i have stretched this story out but i thought you folks would like a laugh and learn from it with regards
spike
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