joke 1

[hormygollop]

two dyslexics in a bar
one said to the other can you smell gas ?


He replied nah I cant even smell my own name


Keith

[hormygollop]

2 parrots sitting on a perch
1 said to the other

Can you smell fish ?



Keith

[surffreak]

how do you make a dog drink?





stick it in a blender.

[Pete]

A woman rings the police and says 'I'd like to report a grape'
'Sorry madam', replies the policeman, 'but don't you mean a rape?'
'No' she says 'there was a whole bunch of them'

Saddam Hussein has been caught - sha**ing sheep in Wales. When questioned
by police he said that it was OK as they were islams.

Michael Jackson had his house searched last night, they found Class A
drugs in the kitchen, Class B drugs in the bathroom and Class 5C in the
Bedroom.


Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a
small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.


Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.


I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."


Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other, "Your round." The
other one says, "So are you, you fat b****rd!"

Pete

[Purpledoris]

What about the insomniac,dyslexic,agnostic society?
They lie awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

[Linda]

Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.

How can you tell all soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

[stormforce]

if at first you don't succeed then sky diving isn't for you

[TOYMOTA]

What have Charles the 1st and Kermit the frog got in common;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
They both have the same middle name!

[da SLUG man]

why are men like parking spaces?


they're either taken or too small!

[Mike66]

Why cant women ski

Theres not much snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.


Why do women always wear white

All good kitchen appliances come in white.
( ouch!!!! the wife just read these )

I Better be quiet now im in trouble and need the wife to take me to look for a surf tommorrow

[marky]

WHATS ROUND & ANGRY ????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A VISCIOUS CIRCLE

[Micky B]

What's blue and smells like red paint
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Blue paint.

[kitesurf_phil]

Two fish in a tank. One says, "How do you drive this thing?"

The architect had his housemaid backwards so he could watch TV.

Two ships have collided. One carrying red paint. The other carrying blue paint. Forty sailors have been marooned.

After a burglary at a pet shop Police have found a leather strap with a length of chain attached. They think they have a lead.

[Chillitt]

what does D.N.A. stand for?



National Dyslexics Association

[minnykaz]

What do you do if you see a spaceman?





Park in it man.