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  • News Headlines

    actual headlines that were published across the country. They were posted in my newsroom today:

    "Crack Found on Governor's Daughter"

    "Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"

    "Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"

    "Iraqi Head Seeks Arms"

    "Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?"

    "Prostitutes Appeal to Pope"

    "Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"

    "Teacher Strike Idles Kids"

    "Miners Refuse to Work After Death"

    "Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"

    "War Dims Hope for Peace"

    "If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile"

    "Cold Wave Linked to Temperature" (for you beefy)

    "Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"

    "Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"

    "Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charges"

    "New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"

    "Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft"

    "Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"

    "Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy"

    "Local High School Drop Outs Cut in Half"

    "Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors"

    "Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead"
    (\__/)
    (='.'=) SQUIRREL MUNCHER GRRRRRRR
    (")_(")
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