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In the glory days of the British Empire, a new CO was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said,"You must meet Captain Smithers, my right-hand man. He's really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."
Smithers was summoned. The new CO was surprised to meet a toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man and only about four feet tall, with a weepy eye and drool coming from the corner of his mouth.
"Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."
"Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst , joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and boxed in the middleweight division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of..."
The colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind all that Smithers, the CO can find all that in your file.
Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to f##k off."
Smithers was summoned. The new CO was surprised to meet a toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man and only about four feet tall, with a weepy eye and drool coming from the corner of his mouth.
"Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."
"Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst , joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events and boxed in the middleweight division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of..."
The colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind all that Smithers, the CO can find all that in your file.
Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to f##k off."