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policemen with speed guns

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  • policemen with speed guns

    While I was driving down the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked:

    "Runway too short?"

    To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

    To which he asked, "What do you do?"

    "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

    The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

    "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

    Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot !!!!!!!!?"

    To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

    Speeding ticket: £105.00

    Court costs: £45

    Look on copper's face: Priceless.
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